Yasser Arafat is dead. Or he's not. For the last week, we've heard conflicting reports about whether the old terrorist sack of excrement is breathing or not. Listening to the argument between Arabs in France and Arabs in the Palestinian Authority about Arafat's medical status is like listening to John Kerry and Teresa Heinz arguing about who really owns the family SUV. You're not sure whom to believe, but it sure is funny.
Whether he's alive or dead when you read this, consider this column a post-mortem on the scum bucket: Good riddance. The only downside to Arafat's death is that it comes from natural causes. No terrorist of Arafat's magnitude, with so much blood on his hands, should be allowed to fade away in a French hospital bed. Arafat deserved years of pain and suffering.
Still, there's a certain poetic beauty to Arafat's death. He'll assume room temperature in France (where his body will undoubtedly smell better than those of the doctors). His wife, Suha, refuses to remove him from life support because only Arafat knows the codes to his personal bank accounts, containing hundreds of millions of laundered dollars.
She accused Arafat's terrorist buddies in Ramallah of attempting to ?bury Abu Ammar alive.? (Hmmm.) The only element lacking here is a consolation visit from Sen. Hillary Clinton.
We are certain to see international mourning when Arafat, the father of the modern terrorist movement, makes the journey to his final roasting place. The media that adored him so in life will surely give him more of a send-off than they gave Ronald Reagan. Already, the stomach-turning praise has begun -- it's time to build a ?legacy.? ?Arafat was a founding father and a peacemaker,? blathers Calvin Clark of TheGlobalist.com. Traitorous Israeli David Grossman wrote in the Los Angeles Times that Arafat ?battled for decades for this land. He turned its story into a political reality that has preoccupied the world, and he became a powerful and universal symbol of a nation's return to its homeland.?
The Nobel Prize committee will explain that Arafat was truly a ?man of peace? and deserved his 1994 award. Hundreds of thousands of ?peace-loving? Muslims the world over will gather for Arafat memorials. And, of course, the Israeli left will babble about Arafat as a ?partner for peace.?