Let the games begin! With Howard Dean poised to steal the Democratic nomination, the rest of the country is preparing for the onrushing Dean Machine. Grocery stores are stocking boxes of tinfoil hats for Dean supporters. Fast-food chains have ordered Hitler-to-Bush transformers for Deaniac tots. For Dean's Christian target audience, there's the WWJDABP (What Would Jesus Do About Bike Paths?) wristband. For his Southern audience, there's the metrosexual gun rack -- "Tote Your Shotgun In Style!" (available in lavender for a limited time only).
The Dean voter is a new breed. He/she/both/none of the above combines the leftism of Lisa Simpson with the paranoia of Elliot Carlin. The Dean supporter mixes the pacifism of Jeannette Rankin with the smoldering hatred of Ted Kaczynski.
Don't believe me? Check out the folks at MoveOn.org. This ultra-liberal Web site sponsored an ad contest. The location: Bushin30seconds.org. The goal: create a 30-second ad making the case against George W. Bush. The judges: Michael Moore, Janeane Garofalo, Jack Black, James Carville, Donna Brazile, Margaret Cho, Al Franken, Jessica Lange, Michael Mann, Gus Van Sant and Eddie Vedder, among others. The prize: The winning ad will be shown the week of President Bush's 2004 State of the Union address. The result: priceless.
Forget the highly publicized Bush/Hitler ads likening our president to the Nazi monster. Let's take the MoveOn.org officials at their word and assume that a screening error took place. Instead, look at the finalists chosen by MoveOn.org voters. A few are clever. Several are obnoxious. Most are hilarious.
Many of the ad-makers demonize President Bush by stating that Bush's policies victimize children. Charlie Fisher's "Child's Pay" depicts young children as janitors, manual laborers, sanitation workers and grocery clerks. "Guess who's going to pay off president Bush's $1 trillion deficit?" the graphic asks. Apparently, street urchins breaking child labor laws.
Different ad, same message for Fred Surr, Ted Page and Janet Tashjian. A series of children stand behind a podium. The sign on the podium reads: "The Next President." "As president, I'll lie about weapons of mass destruction as a pretext to invade another country," one boy tells the audience. "I promise to keep you in a state of fear and anxiety, so you never question what we're doing," a girl says. The final graphic: "What are we teaching our children?" Here's a solution liberals can handle: abort the children. End of problem.