Ann Coulter

To the contrary! Baig contributed to the Democrat who ran against DeLay in his last election. She used her maiden name for the ad, calling herself "P.A. Perine (Texas Republican)." She is a substitute teacher.

All of that was duly noted by a New York Times reporter. (If we are good and decent people, conservatives will put that reporter on a 24-hour watch to make sure he isn't killed in the middle of the night.) But liberals think they can fool normal people with their road-to-Damascus "I used to be a Republican" conversion stories. They can't even fool the New York Times!

Baig's entire retort to the absence of any evidence that she is a Republican was to say that lots of Republicans don't vote in Republican primaries or contribute to Republican candidates (which, in her defense, is at least a better excuse than Kevin Phillips'.)

So, like their theories on "global warming," a liberal's claim to be a Republican is a non-disprovable assertion involving a lot of hot air.

Another conservative getting the Emmanuel Goldstein treatment is John Bolton, Bush's nominee to be ambassador to the United Nations. The charge against Bolton consists of the allegation that he is an absolute beast to his co-workers.

Have the Democrats heard about Katie Couric? As the New York Times described it last week: "America's girl next door has morphed into the mercurial diva down the hall. At the first sound of her peremptory voice and clickety stiletto heels, people dart behind doors and douse the lights." (Funny, I do the same thing when I'm watching the "Today" show at home by myself.)

Things have gotten so bad at "Today," sometimes they show that videotape of Katie's lower bowel exam just to lighten things up.

Can't Barbara Boxer do something to protect the staff of NBC's "Today"? They're at least Americans. First they had to live through the horrors of the Bryant Gumbel years, and now this. Also, I can't be completely clear here, because somebody could get killed, but why isn't a certain lamp-throwing junior senator from New York helping them out? Oh wait ? I think I know why ...

I repeat: Bolton has been nominated to be ambassador to the United Nations. It's not like it's an important job. Get a grip, people! He's not replacing Paula Abdul on "American Idol."

The U.N. is an organization with thousands of people from all over the world with one thing in common: They badly need to be yelled at, preferably by a guy who looks like Wilford Brimley. When did collegiality with representatives from North Korea and Syria become a pressing national issue?

Why just imagine if Bolton raised his voice in front of Sudan's ambassador, or (gasp!) Burma's! I mean, Myanmar's! (Sorry, military junta that runs Myanmar!)

Democrats are enflamed at the idea of Bolton mistreating representatives of slave-traders and dictators, but won't lift a finger to help the staff of "Today." We used to be a country that cared about ratings genocide.

The only silver lining to the Democrats' efforts to kill Bolton's nomination is that if they succeed, Bush could nominate Ronald Reagan's ambassador to the U.N.'s Economic and Social Council instead. (Alan Keyes!) Maybe then we could finally get on with the important work of quitting the U.N. and kicking them out of New York. Isn't it somebody else's turn to host those guys yet?