Ann Coulter

Gay marriage is a tricky issue for the Democrats due to the fact that ? like taxes, defense and education ? they are forced to lie about their position when running for office. In other words, Democrats are gay marriage supporters trapped in the bodies of candidates who oppose gay marriage. And no issue-reassignment surgery can help them.

By contrast, blacks ? like Republicans and most Americans in general ? not only believe gay marriage is wrong, but are willing to publicly state this belief.

Bush opposes gay marriage. Kerry is for it ? and he has always been consistent on that by taking every position imaginable on gay marriage. Kerry's got more gay marriage positions than the Kama-sutra, including the "yawning dog," the "courtesan's dilemma" and the "flip-flopping weasel."

Campaigning in Missouri about a month ago, Kerry began the day saying he was opposed to Missouri's constitutional amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman. By the end of the day, Kerry was claiming he supported the amendment and, indeed, that his position on gay marriage was identical to Bush's.

Later, Kerry retracted his support for the Missouri marriage amendment, telling a gay magazine that he hadn't read the amendment and, in fact, he opposed it. (More campaign slogan ideas: "John Kerry won't just take a stand on the tough issues ? he'll take two or three of them!")

When Kerry's strategy of being both for gay marriage and against it failed to fool blacks, he sent Jesse Jackson out to black churches to tell the parishioners to set aside their views on gay marriage and vote for Kerry anyway. What are blacks getting out of this deal again?

Compensating for his progressive views on gay marriage, Kerry supports federal funding for partial-birth abortions. Taxpayer-supported abortion on demand should make "Emily's List" feminists happy, but it has not been a big hit with black ministers.

Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood, was quite explicit about using abortion as a tool to reduce the minority population. She said the goal of Planned Parenthood was to "give certain dysgenic groups in our population their choice of segregation or sterilization." Even today, talk to any white liberal about abortion and within 60 seconds he will raise the black "overpopulation" problem.

We hear a lot about the 2 million people in America's jails and how many of them are black, but we rarely talk about the 35 to 40 million abortions since Roe v. Wade and how many of those babies were black. When your position on black abortion is identical to the Klan's, maybe it's time to reconsider.

Kerry's supporters are reaching out to blacks by demanding that black cabdrivers in New York City who support Bush be fined and suspended. When taxi driver Etzer Jerome told his sensitive Upper West Side passenger he had voted for Bush, she demanded that he pull over and let her out, yelling at him: "How can a black man vote for Bush?" and "I'm going to f--- you!" She then filed a complaint against Jerome with the Taxi and Limousine Commission alleging that Jerome had "verbally harassed her." He was fined $500 and given a three-week suspension.

On the bright side, the Democrats offer black voters loads and loads of meaningless abstractions that will have absolutely no effect on their lives. "Jobs," for example. (Just not any of the important jobs in a Kerry administration.)

Democrats' extravagant claims about creating "jobs" are as credible as their claims that they will allow the wheelchair-bound to walk. Among the jobs that are currently not available to Americans are these being performed in China under a free-trade bill voted for by John Kerry. (New campaign slogan: "John Kerry: Betraying America Since 1971.")

And apparently, black voters can also look forward to a lot of patronizing demagoguery from the Democrats, such as the claim that Republicans maliciously suppressed the black vote in Florida in 2000.

Kerry claims Republicans disenfranchised 1 million black voters in Florida in 2000, but neglects to mention that after extensive and expensive hearings, the U.S. Civil Rights Commission failed to name a single one of them. Can you name just one out of that "million," Sen. Kerry? We've found more WMDs in Iraq than we've found disenfranchised blacks in Florida.

Indeed ? to the contrary! ? in 2000, blacks composed 11 percent of registered voters in Florida, but made up 17 percent of those who actually voted. If that's how Republicans "suppress" the black vote, blacks are better off when Republicans attack them than when Democrats pretend to be nice to them.