Ann Coulter

While the people of Afghanistan are celebrating their first democratic election and the Iraqis are taking their first steps to democracy, the great thinkers in the Democratic Party are still polishing up their conspiracy theories about the war to liberate Iraq.

There's no consensus position, but the Democrats are pretty sure the real reason we went to Iraq was one of the following:

  • Bush family's connections to the Saudis,

  • Halliburton,

  • the Carlyle Group,

  • something about the Texas Rangers needing more left-handed pitching,

  • the neoconservatives,

  • the Straussians,

  • oil,

  • the Jews,

  • oily Jews.

This may be the first time in American history that the decisional calculus for many voters will be: Do I really want to throw my hat in with these crazy people?

John Kerry has called the war with Iraq "a huge mistake, a catastrophic mistake." He said it was no excuse that "Saddam might have done it 10 years from now" ? use weapons of mass destruction against Americans, apparently. (New Kerry campaign slogan: "Let Radical Islamic Iraq Be Radical Islamic Iraq!")

The Democrats want Saddam back. I suppose it was only a matter of time for the party that also welcomed back Marion Barry, Ted Kennedy, Barney Frank, Al Sharpton, Frank Lautenberg, Hillary Clinton, etc., etc.

When Bush pointed out that Saddam would still be in power if Kerry were president, Kerry contradicted him, but provided no theory of how Saddam would be gone. Instead, he simply said: "Not necessarily be in power" ? and then trailed off into a long-winded explanation of one of those positions on which he's "always been consistent." Maybe Saddam would still be in power ? but there would have been an extremely effective and persistent opposition led by brave media pundits!

Speaking of which, where are the feminists on war with Iraq? Cameron Diaz' statement about Bush's policies ? "if you think rape should be legal, then don't vote" ? would have been perfectly true had she been speaking to an audience in Iraq. These people think it is constructive rape to have sex with your husband. America has just gone to war against a regime for which rape ? not date rape, or pseudo-rape, or virtual rape, but real rape ? was part of the official policy, and they're against regime-change.