Ann Coulter

Like Thomas Sowell's definition of a "racist" ("a conservative winning an argument with a liberal"), the definition of an "unpopular Republican" is "a Republican the Democrats would like to be rid of." Whenever liberals are being hysterical about a Republican, it's because that Republican is not good for the Democrats.

I promise you, if McCain, Powell or even Rudy Giuliani were put on the ticket, the liberal lovefest would come to a screeching halt. We'd finally get a little investigative reporting on liberals' favorite Republicans ? and who knows what's in those closets. (Let's just hope McCain and Giuliani don't have any messy divorces in their past!) Heaven help us if any of them have ever worked for a successful corporation.

Liberal love lasts just long enough to get the job done. The most famous instance of a Republican taking advice from Democrats occurred when former President Bush broke his pledge and raised taxes. The instant Bush capitulated, a staffer at the DNC hit a stopwatch and, for one hour, liberals showered Bush with affection. Maureen Dowd, then-reporter for The New York Times, compared Bush to Eisenhower and gushed he had dropped "the slash-and-burn approach" and was "trying to take a moderate, bipartisan approach."

But as Friedrich Schiller wrote, "Once the Moor has done his duty, the Moor can go." Having tricked the dolt into raising taxes, liberals soon turned on Bush with a vengeance. No longer a bipartisan Eisenhoweresque statesman, Bush became merely an impediment to the Democrats getting a real tax-raiser like Bill Clinton in the White House. Soon Dowd was describing Bush as one of the "elite males in possession of large fortunes" who lacked "empathy with middle-class and poor Americans hurt by a recession."

Liberals even taunted Bush for being so unprincipled as to raise taxes. Dowd said of Bush: "Will he learn the power of fixed principles in leadership, or will he continue to engage in waffling and expedient stances on issues like abortion, civil rights and taxes?"

Never, in the history of the Democratic Party, have they taken advice from us. I thought the Democrats should run Dennis Kucinich for president. I even promised them that a lot of Republicans would vote for a Kucinich-Sharpton ticket! But I didn't see any Democrats taking my advice. Of course, Democrats have never had to face the sound chamber of an all-conservative media. (They will in my gulag.)

We don't have to adopt all the Democrats' traits ? incessant lying, utter shamelessness, criminal behavior and lots of crying ? but Republicans need to tattoo this truism on their arms: It's never a good idea to take advice from your enemies.