Ann Coulter

Liberals, by contrast, think outside the box. For example, the left's "cherished worldview" prohibits racial profiling. But after 9-11, liberals approached the issue with an open mind. In recognition of the fact that 19 Arab immigrants with the identical hair color, eye color and skin color, half of whom were named Mohammed, had just murdered thousands of our fellow countrymen, liberals decided to keep prohibiting racial profiling.

Meanwhile, conservatives, with their simple-minded lack of nuance, tried to "turn back the clock" to a time when angry barbarians did not fly planes into our skyscrapers. They shunned – and even punished – outsiders who threatened their cherished worldview of a country free of savage terrorist attacks.

The report described "liberal" traits as including a powerful "need for closure." (I believe conservatives just want closure on the word "closure.") But in the press release, one of the researchers, Jack Glaser, said the study suggested that Bush had "ignored intelligence information" about Iraq because of the conservative "need for closure." So I guess another liberal trait is "making no sense."

The study also explained that "conservatives don't feel the need to jump through complex, intellectual hoops in order to understand or justify some of their positions ..." Whenever you have backed a liberal into a corner – if he doesn't start crying – he says, "It's a complicated issue." Loving America is too simple an emotion. To be nuanced you have to hate it a little. Conservatives may not grasp "nuance," but we're pretty good at grasping treason.

As proof of the conservative lack of nuance, Glaser cited Bush's statement, "I know what I believe and I believe what I believe is right." Not only that, but Bush once told a reporter: "Look, my job isn't to nuance."

Uday Hussein didn't need a phony study to comprehend Bush's lack of "nuance." The London Sunday Telegraph recently reported that, soon after the war began, Uday was deeply depressed. According to the former director of Iraqi television quoted in the Telegraph, the last words he heard Uday speak were these: "This time I think the Americans are serious. Bush is not like Clinton. I think this is the end."