Ann Coulter

After issuing preposterous denials for two months, Condit finally did the honorable thing and owned up to his relationship with Levy -- right after Levy's aunt went public with the affair. Condit also lied to Levy's parents about when he had last spoken with Levy, later giving the Clintonian explanation that he meant "in person" as opposed to "on the phone."

Maddeningly, the police are refusing to cough up the details of their investigation to an inquiring press. But the FBI was sufficiently interested in Condit to contact his other mistress soon after Levy disappeared. The other-other woman, flight attendant Anne Marie Smith, knew nothing of Levy (for reasons pertaining to the logic of mistresses). Thus, early in the investigation, something led investigators to stray beyond acquaintances of Levy to acquaintances of Condit.

When Smith told Condit that the FBI had called, he promptly attempted to suborn her perjury. (Another proven method of looking innocent.) According to Smith, Condit informed her that she didn't have to talk to the FBI. He then had his lawyers draft an affidavit for her denying the affair. Condit, evidently, does not like mistresses who talk. Smith refused to sign, and took her story to Fox News Channel.

Condit responded to the subornation charge with more Clintonian dodges. He swore up and down, in 17 different ways, that he had told absolutely everyone to tell the truth ... about Levy's disappearance. Thus, he "denied" asking Smith to lie about the affair by saying he had instructed her to tell the truth about Levy's disappearance (something Smith manifestly knew nothing about).

Condit's attorney on the affidavit later explained that it was only a draft affidavit and Smith had been encouraged to edit anything that was incorrect. (Like changing the part about not having an affair with Condit to having an affair with Condit.)

But Smith's most intriguing piece of information was that Condit told her on May 5 or 6: "I'm going to have to disappear for a while. I think I may be in some trouble." Levy's parents didn't tell Condit their daughter was missing until the evening of May 6. If Condit told Smith he was in trouble before being informed of Levy's disappearance, he's lying about more than the affair.

At least there won't be a DNA-stained dress. Maybe politicians are capable of learning from the mistakes of others.