Ann Coulter
Whatever you can say about any problems the Republicans are facing with the Clinton recession as they assume apparent control of all three branches of government (a sham on account of the high incidence of Republican turncoats with no corresponding Democratic turncoats), at least the Republican Party is not besieged by a triangle of egos now fighting for attention in the Democratic Party.

A three-way battle royale is brewing among the delusional vice president, the Hustler president and the aspiring yuppie scum "Hillary!" Each one of these three luminaries thinks he is entitled to be king of the universe.

With the media's willingness to flack for these egotists, things could get out of control. Even in the Democrats' consequence-free environment, there's only so much the sound chamber of liberal media can do to disguise these repugnant personalities. Their massive egos suck all oxygen out of the room. And none of them will shut up.

Poor Al Gore, with his threadbare Tennessee existence, thinks he should be the leader of the opposition. The press wanly tries to keep Gore alive, issuing polite little news reports as if he were still relevant, but he's becoming the fastest disappearing act since the Cheshire Cat.

Somehow a rumor got started that Harvard University was considering hiring Gore to be president of the university, which was always about as likely as Harvard hiring me as its president, except I made it farther in graduate school than Gore did.

It was a ridiculous notion -- not least of all to Harvard, which quickly dampened the rumors, explaining that Gore did not have the requisite "academic and intellectual standing." One wondered how such an absurd rumor could have gotten started in the first place. Let's see: Who has a habit of making stuff up that inures to his greater glory?

In any event, Gore's impotent efforts to have his political future taken seriously are being drowned out by the massive egos in the White House. That competition is really heating up about now. Bill and Hillary haven't even taken notice of Gore's pretensions to be recognized as leader of the opposition. While Bill thinks he's the star, Hillary thinks she wears the pink pants suit now. And she has more money.

More than getting his people in the Democratic National Committee, and more even than getting his next intern, Bill is embarking on the fight of his life: He must top Hillary's book advance. In a few years, he'll be running against Hillary for senator from New York.