Ann Coulter
If you have any doubt that Al Gore's selfless pleas for "democracy" are part of his scheme to steal the election, consider this: In one of Gore's many pending lawsuits against the Florida election results, he asked the court to declare him the winner on the grounds that there are still thousands of votes to be counted. That's funny. If these ballots haven't been "counted" yet, how does he know he's the winner?

As we know from the chads littering the floors of the "counting" areas, these late-breaking votes are not only being "counted" three weeks after the election, they are also being cast three weeks after the election.

In the category of "Things Only a Democrat Would Say With a Straight Face," a Democrat woman on CNBC explained that some voters meant to vote but didn't actually punch the ballot (undoubtedly for Gore) because -- I quote -- they were "afraid to hurt the machine."

Unpunched ballots are a gold mine for Democrats. Through pure cheek and brazenness, they can turn uncast votes into votes for Gore. Total subjectivity -- like counting earwax on a punch card ballot -- is a Democrat's friend. We've entered the Alice-in-Wonderland realm of polls and spin and lies. Facts prohibited. This is the liberals' playing field. Truth doesn't matter, honor doesn't matter, fairness doesn't matter, logical consistency doesn't matter. Once Democrats are freed from the tyranny of objectivity, they are liberated to lie and cheat and steal.

They want the census to be determined by "sampling" rather than an "actual enumeration," as the Constitution specifies. They want SAT scores dropped as a criterion for college admissions -- in deference to subjective evaluations. They want criminals punished not merely for the objective act of, say, committing a murder, but also on the basis of a subjective determination of whether the murder was committed out of "hate" (as opposed to, presumably, all those crimes being committed out of love).

They promote the concept of a "living" Constitution unbounded by the objective and determinant words in the document. They prefer spin to hard facts. They want polls to determine constitutional questions like impeachment. In fact, they prefer polls to elections. (Those dazzling Florida exit polls should give you some idea why.)