Ann Coulter
With all the chatter about who won the first presidential debate, ask yourself this question: What would have had to happen in those debates for the media to say George Bush won? I submit that for Bush to be declared the winner, Al Gore would have had to become Linda Blair in "The Exorcist," head spinning, obscenities flying and body twirling.

So the fact that the media called the debate a "draw" means it wasn't even close: The Dumb Guy beat the Media Darling.

Not for nothing, the next day it turned out Gore had launched all new whoppers during the debate. It's as if every time Clinton drops his pants, Gore tells a lie. Maybe Gore is Linda Blair in "The Exorcist."

This is the guy who said he invented the Internet, claimed to be the inspiration for "Love Story," and said he discovered Love Canal (it had already been declared a national disaster area by President Carter). He says his father was voted out of office for his courageous stand on Civil Rights, when his father voted against the 1964 Civil Rights Act, and his mother sang him union lullabies that didn't exist until he was 27 years old. He claimed to be a co-sponsor of the McCain-Feingold campaign-finance reform bill, but he wasn't in Congress with Sen. Feingold.

Gore's endless boasts of his false heroic feats had already gotten to the point of pathology. Making stuff up is surely one of Gore's leading negatives in this campaign. So you would have thought the man could sweat out a 90-minute debate without telling another tall tale. But no.

In the Taking Credit for Everything That's Ever Happened category, Gore said of the federal government's response to fires and floods in Texas: "I accompanied (FEMA Director) James Lee Witt down to Texas when those fires broke out." But then it turned out that never happened. Gore did not go to Texas with James Lee Witt.

Gore also insanely boasted: "When the action in Kosovo was dragging on and we were searching for a solution to the problem ... I invited the former prime minister of Russia to my house and took a risk in asking him to get personally involved." Um, not quite. Two weeks earlier, Russian President Boris Yeltsin had already designated Mr. Chernomyrdin as special envoy to the Balkans.