Ann Coulter
Vice President Al Gore and his eternally troubled running mate Joe Lieberman have threatened to sic the Federal Communications Commission on Hollywood for engaging in false and deceptive advertising in its portrayals of violence. Indeed, Gore has promised to unleash a full-fledged federal investigation if they don't "clean up their act" in the next six months (and the American people lose their minds and vote for four more years of these clowns).

As Sen. Joe "I'm Troubled" Lieberman said, "the show business people have to stop marketing to kids." No marketing to kids? Even for "Bambi Returns From the Forest"? If Bush had made a faux pas like that, you wouldn't have had to wait for my column to read about it. Of course, Lieberman's confusion is understandable: It's easy to forget the details of your moral crusade when it's a lying, hypocritical hoax.

To clarify, the Democrats would sooner investigate what happened at that Buddhist temple than take a tiny peek at Hollywood. Hollywood is the Democratic Party.

Despite all the anachronistic rhetoric about Democrats representing "working families," the Democratic Party now consists primarily of Hollywood celebrities, multimillionaire dot-com weenies, Left-Wing Mumia supporters and other ribbon-wearing liberals. (And the unemployed and unemployable parasites, but their influence within the party is precisely as substantial as their financial contributions.)

According to a New York Times/CBS news poll taken at the beginning of September, families in the $30,000 to $50,000 income bracket have consistently favored George Bush over Al Gore. (For typical Democrat snobs: That's per annum.) Meanwhile, Gore cleans up in polls of those with family incomes above $50,000 per year.

Hollywood elites (a.k.a. "working families") have given millions upon millions of dollars to Al Gore and the Democrats. Democrat-in-Good-Standing and Hollywood luminary Larry Flynt labored shoulder to shoulder with Sen. Joe "Not Quite Troubled Enough" Lieberman to keep Bill Clinton in office.

Consequently, the Democrats are as likely to get tough with Hollywood as Monica was to get tough with Bill Clinton -- and for pretty much the same reason.

Moreover, we can save the taxpayers the cost of this important Gore/Lieberman Hollywood probe. Any examination of the entertainment industry's portrayal of violence would reveal the following: Hollywood is incessantly depicting guns and violence as capable of causing grave injury, sometimes death.