The Viagra cotillion

Ann Coulter

8/17/2000 12:00:00 AM - Ann Coulter
After a week of prattle about Joe "Conscience of the Party" Lieberman's deep sense of morality, someone in the Democratic Party noticed it might be a tad unseemly to have an opening-night gala at the Democratic National Convention at the Playboy mansion. Taking a page from Lieberman's book, the entire party is now duly "troubled" about the event.

The Playboy fund-raiser was the masterstroke of Loretta Sanchez, California congresswoman and co-chairwoman of the Democratic National Committee -- appointed by Al Gore. The fund-raiser will raise money for her political action committee, Hispanic Unity, and is expected to help Gore with the Puerto Rican wilding vote.

Though the tickets are going for $5,000 apiece, a spokesman for a convention chairman has said they are getting "tons" of ticket requests from Democratic Party bigwigs -- "more requests for tickets than we're going to be able to provide."

At least the Democrats have finally found a role for President Clinton at the convention.

The big question surrounding the event is whether President Clinton will be bringing his chief impeachment strategist, Larry Flynt (Hustler wing of the Democratic Party) to the Playboy fund-raiser. If nothing else, Playboy's largess will likely rule out convention gift bags containing copies of Flynt's landmark woman-being-fed-into-a-meat-grinder issue.

Sadly, the welcoming bunnies idea has not been without its naysayers. Prominent Democrats and Hispanics have criticized Sanchez's decision to hold the Democratic event at the Playboy mansion. And the guy whom the Democrats are supposed to nominate as their presidential candidate later this week, Al Gore, has objected to the Playboy fund-raiser.

Just like he objected to the Clinton administration sending Elian back to Cuba. (Ms. Sanchez has expressed about as much interest in Gore's opinion as President Clinton did.) Worried about losing the bunny vote, at first Gore tried to chart a middle course by simply announcing that he would not attend and stating that he did not "sanction" the event.

A spokesperson for Playboy praised Gore for not saying "horrible things" about the skin magazine -- as she suggested Rep. Patrick J. Kennedy, D-R.I., had done. (Kennedy had sportingly averred that Playboy contradicted the Democratic Party's well-known respect for "the human dignity of every individual." But see Paula, Kathleen, Monica, Gennifer, Juanita, etc., etc.)

The spokesbunny further said she understood that Gore had to be acting "squeaky clean." (Having your presidential candidate steer clear of cavorting with bunnies at the Playboy mansion evidently constitutes "squeaky clean" in Democratic circles.)

But recognizing the genius of his running mate's "Conscience of the Party" scam, Gore has recently taken to expressing his own deep moral conscience by claiming to be troubled by the event with somewhat more fanfare. Presumably, the Playboy fund-raiser will still go on, just as Lieberman still voted the party line to save Clinton's hide.

The Playboy spokesbunny responded indignantly to the Democrats' newfound phony opposition to the Playboy fund-raiser, saying, "the only difference between a party at the mansion and a party at the White House is that you got Hef walking around." That, admittedly, is an improvement.

In point of fact, the Democrats have no quarrel with Playboy: Both want to liberate women to behave like pigs, have sex without consequence, prance about naked and abort children. Playboy is the incarnation of Soccer Mom theory. A white trash, horn-dog president who treats women like ashtrays is its apotheosis.

As a matter of course, Hugh Hefner and his (non-aborted) daughter have donated more than $26,000 to the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, and at least $8,500 to Gore's political campaigns over the last five years.

The Playboy Foundation is also a big contributor to the National Organization for Women, the Women's Action Alliance, Emily's List (for electing liberal women to office), Feminists for Free Expression, Voters for Choice, Planned Parenthood, and the National Abortion and Reproductive Rights Action League.

A chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union has presented Hugh Hefner with its Man of the Year Award. Hefner has been recognized repeatedly and had "Hugh Hefner" days named in his honor by the mayors of Los Angeles and Chicago. Guess which party the mayors belonged to?

As a local official with the National Organization for Women explained: "Whatever feminist argument you can make as to whether Playboy Enterprises are bad for women, Christina Hefner and Hugh Hefner have more than proven that they're supporters of progressive causes." So "progressive cause" is what we're calling abortion now?

Liberals persist in talking about feminism and "women's issues" as if they have something to do with women's interests, rather than the exclusive and rather single-minded obsession with sticking forks in babies' heads. In this goal, they are of one mind with Playboy.