Ann Coulter
At least we know Al Gore is still breathing. Choosing Sen. Joseph Lieberman as his running mate may not be the amazingly bold stroke that the press is hyperventilating about, but it does show the presence of brain waves. At last -- Gore did something!

Gore has received wide acclaim for his "risky" move in putting a Jew on the ticket, amid none too-subtle insinuations that anyone who votes against Gore is an anti-Semite. Echoing other Gore campaign staffers, ABC's Cokie Roberts casually remarked on NPR the other day that any "hard-core anti-Semites" are not "likely to vote for the Democratic ticket" anyway.

She must be referring to all those registered Republicans like Louis Farrakhan and Jesse "Hymietown" Jackson. Indeed, in light of recent allegations about her potty mouth, the only vote Al Gore may have lost by putting a Jew on the ticket is Hillary Clinton's.

The press has been demure in listing Lieberman's many accomplishments. He is not only the first Jew on a national ticket, but also has the distinction of being a member of the World's Smallest Group: Orthodox Jews for Partial-Birth Abortion.

No doubt he's troubled about sucking the brains out of a half-delivered baby. Lieberman spends half his life being troubled. Always troubled, but never troubled enough to do anything.

He was, of course, famously troubled about President Clinton "willfully deceiving the nation about his conduct," -- conduct Lieberman called "not just inappropriate," but "immoral," "harmful," "sad" and "sordid." Lieberman said his "conscience" compelled him to express his "concerns forthrightly and publicly." His conscience did not, however, compel him to vote to remove the source of his troubles from the office of the presidency.

This is the way liberals always avoid taking action against other liberals. They furrow their brows and dutifully register some vague consternation, for which they expect great admiration. With their impeccable consciences duly placed on the record, they believe no further action should be required of them.

Sen. Joe Lieberman is the master of agonizing before inaction. Explaining his acquittal vote to Tom Brokaw on "NBC Nightly News," Lieberman suggested he had seriously considered voting to remove Clinton, noting that "every time I've been forced to go into the facts of this case, I get repulsed, and I get troubled and torn up." Gee, thanks for that display of scruples.