6. Be focused more on what you are for rather than what you are against. Anger over the past does not a vision make! Participating in the blame game only traps your eyes to the rearview mirror looking at things that can’t be changed while new obstacles and challenges are rapidly approaching out the front window! Let everyone save face and learn from mistakes by focusing conversations on working to invent a better future.

7. Be able to admit your own mistakes and the mistakes of your own party. “My party right or wrong!” seldom impresses independent-thinking voters. If you can’t confront your own when wrong, you won’t be respected. Even when you cannot honestly concede a mistake, at least admit that you can appreciate that many see it differently. With the record of Republicans in Washington over the last few years, it’s not hard to find failures worth confronting.

8. Learn to use humor to diffuse the tension conflict creates and to keep issues in perspective. The safest target for your humor is always yourself. When Lincoln was accused of being “two-faced,” he replied, “Obviously I am not ‘two-faced,’ or I would not use this one!” When George Washington faced a Constitutional Convention that wanted to limit the size of the army to 5,000 troops, he agreed as long as they would limit the size of the enemy to 3,000 troops. The resulting laughter ended the threat of unwise legislation.

9. Be ready to take distance from a difficult conversation and give others time to think. The most powerful impact from a thoughtful conversation is often experienced after the parties have left each other’s presence. Forcing closure may only harden views that might have changed if the information shared had been given time to percolate. Giving them a little distance with dignity just may get them to reconsider a few of their positions.

10. End fruitless conversations positively. Many will never change political positions no matter how civil the discussion or how long you talk. Learn to say, “I guess no amount of dialogue is going to change either of us. That’s what makes this country so great—We’re free to disagree!”

Ronald Reagan said it well, “I have always believed that a lot of the troubles in the world would disappear if we were talking to each other instead of about each other.” In this election, spend some time out of your conservative comfort zone; listen and talk to some democrats and independents. Keep political dialogue vibrant and alive for a new generation of American voters starting with you! You just may win a few converts to the conservative cause and help win a few elections!