The corpulent conman claimed that the feds might seize his movie because 15 minutes were filmed in Cuba. These scenes include a visit to Naomi Wolf’s supposed “gulag” at Guantanamo Bay. A gulag where, according to Moore, prisoners get better health care than Americans. Try to square that circle.

In the event, of course, Moore’s film hit screens without government interference. The only thing blocking the screen, in fact, seems to have been people leaving the theater early. Even presidential candidate John Edwards admitted, “I didn’t quite get to see the end.”

Maybe that’s because the former senator had to rush out on his recent poverty tour. “One in eight of us … do not have enough money for the food, shelter, and clothing they need,” claims Edwards who, while serving as a spokesman for the poor, is building himself one of the largest homes in North Carolina.

In reality, though, we’re not tripping over emaciated poor people at every turn. For the most part, the U.S. has defeated real poverty.

Nine out of 10 families defined as “poor” by the government report they have enough to eat. In fact, “poor” children get almost exactly the same nutrition as middle-class children. A poor child today is expected to grow up to be an inch taller and 10 pounds heavier than the average American soldier in World War II.

Why don’t we hear much about this good news? Maybe because (in Wolf’s model) the Bush administration controls the press and doesn’t want good economic news reported. Maybe it’s all part of a Bushco plot to seize more power.

Sounds like a crazy theory. But, sadly, it’s as sane as anything we’ve heard from the left lately.