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Friday, September 19, 2008
Paul Greenberg :: Townhall.com Columnist
A Clatter of Editorial Writers
by Paul Greenberg
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What's the collective noun for editorial writers? I need to know because a whole herd of us is coming together this week here in Little Rock. But to call us a herd gives us too much credit for organization. I know it's a coven of witches, a pride of lions, a murder of crows, but what do you call an agglomeration of editorial writers?

My nomination: a clatter. As in the sound made by those old Royals and Underwoods in the noisy, crowded, smoke-filled newsrooms of yesteryear.

There was something romantic, promising, alive about that sound. There still is, which may be why there's a market even now for manual typewriters among the sentimental, or just wistful.

We won't be a full-fledged clatter until the program gets under way with greetings from Mike Huckabee, formerly a governor and presidential candidate, and currently political commentator and bass guitarist with his rock 'n' roll ensemble, Capitol Offense.

There'll be some other Big Names on the program, like syndicated columnist Juan Williams and John Shelton Reed, the DeTocqueville of Dixie. He's rounded up a whole passel of eminent sociologists to talk about the latest incarnation of that curious ethnic/geographic/cultural group known as Southerners.

We'll talk about the Wal-Mart Effect and the impact of Hispanic immigration, too. The obligatory tour of the Central High Museum is to follow a discussion about the ever-evolving historical significance of the Little Rock Crisis of 1957. It'll all be in keeping with the convention's theme this year: "The Next South, the Next America."

Who knows, we may even get around to discussing editorial writing at some point.

All in all, this conclave should be quite a show. It could even prove an education if we pay attention.

Editorial writers should be trickling into the lobby of the Peabody Hotel here in Little Rock all during the day. One by one they'll set down their luggage and the obligatory laptops that have replaced the old Royal and Remington portables, and start looking around for old friends or, even better, old enemies. Some of us have feuded for so long we've started to like each other.

You grow fond of people you see Same Time Next Year - year after year. And I've reached the age where I not only see old friends but a ghost or two, editorial writers from the past who used to be at these conventions but have made their last deadline. Tony Snow, a lapsed editorial writer who wound up a presidential press secretary, had been invited to speak at our final dinner, but had a previous engagement. Dang, it'd be good to see him again at one of these things and renew the past, slightly rewritten to give ourselves much better lines.

And I still miss Ann Lloyd Merriman of the Richmond News-Leader and later Times-Dispatch, our historian and keeper of the flame, who left a hole the size of a continent in this outfit's institutional memory when she died a few years ago. How describe her? She was a combination of Virginia gentility and invincibility, of Lee and Jackson, only wrapped in a cloud of cigarette smoke and sipping a bottomless libation. In short, a helluva newspaperwoman.

As you would imagine, given newspapermen's talent for organization, the National Conference of Editorial Writers is a kind of anarchists' convention, a mix of class reunion and debating society. And I can hardly wait for it to pick up steam and get really rolling.

How describe our membership? H. L. Mencken, the Sage of Baltimore, and a man who could write a mean editorial in more than one sense of the word, attended one of the first of these editorial writers' conferences. His writings remain fruit for the mind-a mix of verbal razzmatazz and cold observation that still cuts uncomfortably close to the bone. For example, here's his summary description of the nation's editorial writers at that early conference of same:

"Copy readers promoted from the city room to get rid of them, alcoholic writers of local histories and forgotten novels, former managing editors who had come to grief on other papers, and a miscellany of decayed lawyers, college professors and clergymen with whispered pasts. Some of these botches of God were pleasant enough fellows, a few even showed a certain grasp of elementary English, but taking one with another they were held in disdain." Certainly they were by Mr. Mencken, who never mixed his talent with tact. In his case, that would have been a sad dilution. We've grown considerably more respectable since Mr. Mencken's time, more's the pity. The modern, contemporary editorial writer, alas, has an abundance of tact and all too little talent. Like any patron saint, Henry Louis Mencken is much honored amongst us, but too little followed. Literal-minded, imagination-short, terribly solemn, dutiful to a fault, we now might find eloquence in bad taste, or at least a violation of the stylebook.

Year after year, these conventions grow more like a wake for the great editorial writers we've lost, and for the old, Menckenesque editorials page that took no prisoners. This year we'll be told, again, that editorial writing is a dead art, and we just don't know it - and had better learn to blog. But as Truman Capote said of the works of another author, that's not writing, it's typing. So we write on, the happy few of us who are left, and still think of our newspapers as personas with a history, character and opinion of their own to express - through us.

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Envy.
Yeahbut, Paul, you will enjoy the clatterers at the conclave more than anything else you could be doing, huh? And I should hope a few of the youngsters -- well, at least one -- would enjoy sitting around with you. You can tell him/her about Mencken

I miss attending those gatherings of a similar type, in Natchez and New Orleans, where I was often found sitting around with Shelby Foote, John M. Barry, and Dr. Charles Hudson, the American Indian scholar.

Especially, since no one is admitting what to do about our current "economic" crisis, what could be better?

Newspaperwoman. Newspaperman.
“Newspaperwoman.” “Newspaperman.” Those terms convey more than the effete “journalist.” I spent a bit of my youth newspapering (Microsoft Word just underlined “newspapering,” claiming it’s not a word – my old manual clacker never would have done that). The old men and women I worked with, including the 66-year-old city editor who had begun in the ‘20s as a paper delivery boy, were gruff, tough, seen-it-all people. Some had permanent stoops in their shoulders from years of bending over those Remingtons and Royals. But they were for the most part solid people, not wispy images who know all there is to know about wine and Paris but who have never hung out with small time county commissioners and lieutenant governors or who know what cops are like at the station at 5 in the morning. They had encyclopedic knowledge of their communities – if the fact (and that’s what they dealt with: facts) wasn’t in their heads, they knew where to find it in the morgue. They had professional detachment yet they were part of their communities. They would never do what I saw a “journalist” do while covering a political rally: refuse to stand for the Flag. They knew their most important product was their credibility. I once had a cigar smoking managing editor refer to his old days as a reporter for the Kansas City Star. There he had an editor whose commitment to credibility prevented him from giving to rookies what other papers would consider a routine assignment. With the language cleaned up a bit, here’s what my editor said about his Kansas City Star editor: “Whenever an obituary had to be written he always got his best writer to do it, even if it was election night. That’s because he didn’t want someone to mess it up and have people for years in the future open their King James Bible and find that messed up obituary and say “That Kansas City Star can’t get anything right!!!!” Newspapermen. Newspaperwomen. We need them back…

ENJOYED THE ARTICLE
PAUL,IF B.HUSSEIN SHOWS UP,PLAY LIKE YOUR HOME LESS!JUST PUT ON YOUR OLD HAT AND FOSTER GRANTS AND WALK OUT OF THE LOBBY TILL HE LEAVES.

Funny!
While I was in the AF I was in an office where paperwork, being the norm, had to be typewritten,no exceptions!
To make a long story short,we had a prolonged power outage! Since all our typewriters were electric we couldn't accomplish anything. Someone came up with the idea of buying a few manual typewriters so that we could at least get the essential stuff out in case of another power outage!

Because of Congressional mandates we were required to "buy American"! After a few weeks of research we found that there were no American manufacturers of manual typewriters. There was one manufacturer,I think it was Olivetti from Italy, that still manufactured them. The process to acquire permission to buy from a foreign source was (and probably still is!), to put it mildly, convoluted and time consuming.

The next idea was to buy a used one from one of the local 'second hand' shops. Well, due to Gov't purchasing regulations the purchase of used equipment required authorization. The process to receive that authorization made the foreign purchase authorization seem easy!

We finally did get a manual typewriter! The guys in the office all pitched in a few bucks and we bought a used one!

Problem, and headache, solved!!!! I guess low tech still has its place!

my old olivetti


I once owned the stradivarius of all portable typewriters, a little Olivetti. (Mama mia! How I love a da Holive Hoil!)

If dealing with the MSM
what do you call an agglomeration of MSM editorial writers?

How about a collection of distortions, half truths and lies?

Collation
How about "a collation of editors"? The word has a nice ring about it, and evokes the last remaining productivity sound of a modern press office -- the rhythmical "shoosh" of the office printer as it spits out large numbers of long memos -- from one editor to another!

Your menu of speakers might be called "a run-off of opinion-makers"

Challenge: make a new professional-courtesy rule: no editor, speaking to another editor at the convention, may employ the expression "being on the same page" -- about anything!
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