What's the essential difference between the two remaining candidates
battling it out for the Democratic presidential nomination?
It's the difference between high popalorum and low popahirum.
Never heard of those two commodities?
Let the late great Huey Pierce Long Jr. of Louisiana, a state whose
principal crops long have included cotton, rice and buncombe, explain. Back
in his heyday, namely the 1930s, he would tell the story about a traveling
salesman who offered two varieties of patent medicine:
One bottle was labeled High Popalorum, which the salesman would explain was
taken from the bark of a tree from the top down.
The other was called Low Popahirum, which came from the bark of a tree from
the bottom up.
Huey's conclusion:
"The only difference I've found in Congress between the Republican and
Democratic leadership is that one of them is skinning us from the toes up
and the other from the ears down."
His was a common enough thought but nary so well expressed. It would apply
just as well now to the supposedly crucial policy differences between
Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama on everything from taxes to health
insurance to NAFTA. (That's the North American Free Trade Agreement and
scapegoat, which both were for before both were against.)
Conclusion: The more things change, the more they remain the dadblamed same
- even if our present day politicians lack Huey Long's ability to sum things
up in a single colorful phrase.
More high popalorum and low popahirum is sure to come.
Why then are so many of my fellow opinionators, like so many American voters
in general, taken with Barack Obama? I must confess I myself am not immune
to his charm. It's his rhetorical prowess that mesmerizes, and the rarity of
it in contemporary politics.
Every four years, as is customary, we the punditry lament the decline and
imminent fall of political eloquence in this country. It's always good for
at least one mournful column, in which an elegiac reference to the
Lincoln-Douglas debates is almost mandatory.
But this year, just as we were performing the last rites over American
political eloquence, the funeral was interrupted by the meteoric rise of
Mister Cool, who continues to hold us - and a good part of the nation - in
his rhetorical thrall.
The question now is how long this intoxicating spell will last, and will the
hangover set in before or after the general election. In the meantime, the
Cult of Obama rocks and rolls on.
The set pieces that Barack Obama delivers before his fan base are impressive
enough; their likes may not have been seen on this continent since the
Beatles came, saw and conquered.
And yet Senator Obama is even more impressive in informal settings - like a
town hall meeting or impromptu debate. His conversational approach on those
occasions bears no resemblance to the spread-eagle style that used to so
excite American audiences before it became something to parody.
This is no William Jennings Bryan reciting his Cross of Gold speech with
dramatic gestures. It's more like a reincarnation of John F. Kennedy's
restrained elegance. Barack Obama doesn't bombard his listeners with
flamboyant oratory. Instead, he wins us over with a practiced ease that
doesn't seem practiced at all.
To borrow another metaphor from Huey Long, aka The Kingfish, this new
political star is not a hoot owl but a scrootch owl. What's the difference?
Here's how he explained it: "A hoot owl bangs into the nest and knocks the
hen clean off and catches her while she's falling. But a scrootch owl slips
into the roost and talks softly to her. And the hen just falls in love with
him, and the first thing you know, there ain't no hen!"
Hillary Clinton is definitely a hoot owl. Charm has never been her strong
suit. She's been a brass-knuckles fighter for as long as I've watched her in
hard-hitting action.
In contrast, Barack Obama is a scrootch owl, sidling up to his audience in
the most agreeable fashion before co-opting it.
Miss Hillary bashes us into acquiescence, or at least tries to. Naturally we
resist. Nobody likes being argued into submission.
In contrast, Mister Cool makes agreeing with him seem only reasonable.
Ever notice how he begins so many responses to challenging questions? First
he agrees with his questioner's position, perhaps restating it better. Then
he gradually moves on in that soft-spoken way of his to supply his own,
quite different conclusion so subtly he's won you over.
Barack Obama charms his prey before delivering the coup de grace. And the
first thing you know, there ain't no opposition left.
In his own concise, memorable way, Huey Long explained the theory behind the
scrootch owl's modus operandi long ago. Barack Obama has just put it into
practice. |