And it's not just kids. Have you taken a good look lately at American
politics, academia, fashion, journalism and public life in general? It
over-runneth with the kind of self-esteem that cometh before a fall.
There is such a thing as unearned grace - don't I know it! - but self-esteem
is unearned folly. Its fruit is pride, not humility. You can tell a lot
about an educational system by its vocabulary. When Calvinistic terms like
grace and works are replaced by educantisms like self-esteem, you know the
system's in trouble. Or is even to think on grace and works now considered a
violation of the separation of church and state?
The mere mention of a religious idea in public has been known to make some
of our more advanced thinkers break out in hives and litigation. As for
those of us inclined to sneak a biblical allusion into our prose now and
then, we need not fear; our "educated" classes may no longer recognize it.
The theory behind the Cult of Self-Esteem is simple: First get the cart,
then put it before the horse. Just feel good about yourself and achievement
will follow automatically. It would be too much to call this approach
instant gratification; it's really more like pre-gratification.
What we have here is one more high-cost detour into the weedy lots of
educanto. What a pity the self-esteem fad wasn't lost forever in all that
verbal high grass.
Want to build real self-esteem, the kind that is the fruit of self-respect
and not just an inadequate substitute for it?
Expect, even insist on, competence. Don't pretend it's there when it isn't.
If that sounds too hard, that's the catch with self-respect - it has to be
earned. Self-esteem, on the other hand, costs little or nothing. And it's
worth just what you pay for it.
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