I noted in your ad that you require a B.A. degree in LGBT and Queer Studies, Sexuality Studies, African American Studies, American Studies, Ethnic Studies, Gender and Women's Studies, or related field. I hope you will consider the fact that my PhD in Criminology was actually granted in a sociology department. In order to get a PhD in a sociology department one has to study at least as much worthless “scholarship” as one has to study to obtain a Queer Studies degree. I hope you agree and will, therefore, consider me to be qualified.

I also noted that you require “experience working with the issues and concerns of LGBTQQ students.” I have long recognized the fact that the LGBTQQ community has issues – for example, anti-religious bigotry - and I have addressed their issues in numerous columns. I hope you will, therefore, consider me qualified in this regard.

Among your “desired qualifications” I noticed you listed “experience working with the issues and concerns of students of color especially within a higher education context.” Given the paucity of “people of color” at my present institution, UNC-White, I consider this the weak point of my application. I hope you will consider my other strengths including my firm commitment to immediately bring “white” and “colored” restrooms back to higher education. This will be possible after we get rid of the “men’s” and “women’s” restroom distinction that so clearly discriminates against our LGBTQQ brothers and sisters – as well as those who are not sure whether they are our brothers or our sisters.

Your ad indicates that “Salary is competitive and commensurate with experience and skills for an entry level administrative position.” I am willing to waive my salary as LGBTQQCC at Oberlin because I am sure that enough material will come from this job to make millions on books, speeches, and columns.

Along with this email, I will send a letter of application, résumé and the names and addresses of three references to: LGBTQ Community Coordinator Search, Oberlin College, 135 West Lorain Street, Wilder Hall 105, Oberlin, OH 44074.

I will also urge other academic dissidents to do the same.