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Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Mike Adams :: Townhall.com Columnist
Hooked on Ebonics
by Mike Adams
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To Whom It May Concern (sswadm@usc.edu):

I was searching for scholarships at USC and found the following information on a "Black Alumni Association/Ebonics Support GroupScholarship" at The University of Southern California. In order to be eligible, one must be a "currently enrolled USC African-American." You also note that "undergraduate and graduate students are eligible" for the award of $500 to $3,000.

This is distressing because I am white but I am, nonetheless, fluent in ebonics. Would you consider making an exception?

Mike Adams

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To Whom It May Concern (sswadm@usc.edu):

I am in receipt of your auto-reply “response” to my request for information about scholarship opportunities at USC. I had an opportunity to visit the Social Work Department's home page. Subsequently, I searched for "ebonics" and found this document.

Unfortunately, it still does not answer my question. In fact, I have some new concerns about your student groups, which are referred to as “Social Work Caucuses.” Your department handbook says the following: “The caucus structure insures that any and all student groups have an opportunity to establish a mechanism to have a voice in the overall operations of the School.” I have my doubts about that.

Among your list of groups are the “Asian Social Work Caucus,” the “Black Social Work Caucus,” the “Latino Social Work Caucus,” the “International Social Work Caucus,” and the “Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgendered Social Work Caucus.” I am wondering whether you have a “White Social Work Caucus” or a “Caucasian Caucus.” If not, is there any interest in starting one, which may or may not address the specific needs of white social workers who speak ebonics?

I thank you in advance for your non-automated response.

Mike Adams

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To Whom It May Concern (sswadm@usc.edu):

Once again, I am in receipt of your auto-reply “response” to my request for information about the Social Work Department at USC. I hope you will respect my request that all future emails be written by a real person in direct response to my concerns. I have more since I last wrote to you.

In examining your “Scholarship Listings and Other Sources” I noticed that you offer a specific scholarship for Asian Americans. In fact, you offer two. You also offer a specific scholarship for African Americans who speak Ebonics. And, finally, you offer a “Mexican American Alumni Association” scholarship for Hispanics. (There is also a reference to a scholarship from the “California Association of Black Social Workers” and one from “Trabajadores de La Raza” – one I did not understand because my second language is Ebonics, not Spanish).

And, yet, you offer nothing for a Caucasian – not even a bi-lingual Caucasian, unless, of course, he (she or it) happens to be bi-sexual.

This is unacceptable and I demand a personal response.

Mike Adams

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To Whom It May Concern (sswadm@usc.edu):

I am really getting tired of these automatic responses. Could you please answer my serious inquiries about your program? Ever since the outbreak of wildfires in Malibu, California, I have felt a calling to give up everything – my job, my home, and most of my gun collection to come help white California liberals who have lost more in recent weeks than most people gain in a lifetime. Continued...

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About The Author
Mike Adams is a criminology professor at the University of North Carolina Wilmington and author of Feminists Say the Darndest Things: A Politically Incorrect Professor Confronts "Womyn" On Campus.
 
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why
Ralph Ellison:

Humor, requiring a premise to have context, why Dr. Adams chose the subject of Ebonics is apparent to those of us with only moderate intellect.

As Dr. Adams states at the very beginning "I was searching for scholarships at USC and found the following information on a "Black Alumni Association/Ebonics Support GroupScholarship" at The University of Southern California."

While he doesn't go into detail as to why he would have been searching for scholarships at USC, it shouldn't be necessary as it was simply the premise for the humorous events (whether real or imagined) that followed. Some great hunor begins with " a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Monk walk into a bar",,,,,. The reasoning behind any of the characters in the story choosing to join the clergy is not an essential element to the story. Oh well, some people really can't tell a joke.

Axe de right question
Mike; you don't be axing dem de right question.
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