When I was in college I was a professional musician. I didn’t write many songs but I used to try occasionally to write very stupid country songs hoping I would eventually write one dumb enough for Garth Brooks to record. I even had an idea for one called “When Porn Stars Get Offended.” (The punch line was: “When porn stars get offended, that’s when I’ll quit loving you”).

But, now, there is little hope my porn star song will ever become a country hit; this because political correctness now dictates that we avoid offending porn stars and prostitutes by helping to dispel myths about their private and professional lives.

In fact, one show dispelling such myths was recently defended by William and Mary President Gene Nichol. President Gene thought the show must be defended on First Amendment grounds regardless of its tendency to offend groups including, but not limited to, Christians. A cross in the campus chapel, however, had to go because it might be deemed offensive to non-Christians.

Believe it or not, the same show that Nichol defended may be coming to a local college or university near you – and it may or may not be funded by your tax dollars. Regardless, it seeks to dispel the “myth” that people who work in the sex industry are “anything short of artists, innovators, and geniuses.” Dubbed the “Sex Worker’s Art Show” it was performed at the following colleges and universities in the month of February of 2007 alone:

Northern Arizona University, College of Santa Fe, Virginia Commonwealth University, College of William and Mary, University of Pennsylvania, Haverford College, Bard College, Wesleyan, The University of Massachusetts - Amhurst, Hampshire College, Sarah Lawrence College, Case Western Reserve University, Kenyon College, and Earlham College.

These shows are intended to offer a diverse perspective on sex work by touching on themes such as prostitute’s rights. The cast of performers includes Miss Dirty Martini (see http://www.sexworkersartshow.com – especially the “performer bio” link) who recently made a cameo in the movie Shortbus, which is probably the best mode of transportation available for those who see the intellectual merits of the diversity movement in higher education. If this is all getting to be too much to believe, please resort to Google to find Miss Dirty Martini’s personal website. There is plenty of supporting documentation there.

Another of the stars of the “Sex Workers Art Show” is named C. Snatch Z. The show describes her as a woman who “strides the world with her dildo harness controlling the human catharsis like a dictator, destroying herself like a revolutionist.” If you have no idea what that means or – like the author of this column – you have no idea what any of this has to do with getting a college education, please Google her name for more information.

Another star, Kirk Read, spent two years performing a tour of 120 cities intent on spreading the gospel of “sexed-up heavy metal queer teenagers.” He has been a long time counselor at the St. James Infirmary, which is San Francisco’s free health clinic for sex workers. St. James offers “free, confidential, compassionate, non-judgmental, drop-in care.” Describing himself as both a “southern gentleman” and a “witch” he works as an apprentice to an organic gourmet chef. But before you let him handle your food, you had better do a Google search to see where his hands have been lately.

Let’s not forget the immensely talented Reginald Lamar. He (I trust he’s not a she) is the former singer of the rock band (not banned) called “The Mutilated Mannequins.” Fusing punk rock with gospel music is one of his talents. He also likes to deeply probe (no jokes, please) issues of race, class, and sex prejudices and taboos.” Before you invite him (her? it?) to your college, Google can help you more deeply probe the issue of his (?) true gender identity.

Last year, when the sex workers art show made a stop at Bucknell University, a “sex worker” rubbed lubricant all over his genitalia. This was done in front of college students, many of whom were merely teenagers. After sponsoring the intellectually slippery event, the Women’s and Gender Studies Department had the audacity to refuse to sponsor a lecture by conservative author Christina Sommers on the grounds that her work lacked intellectual merit.

When I think about certain feminist groups (like the feminists at Bucknell) and certain university presidents (I will not mention a single name: Gene Nichol, Gene Nichol, Gene Nichol) I often think that our universities are being run by a bunch of intellectual whores.

But, fortunately, since I attended the “Sex Worker’s Art Show” I realize that calling someone a “whore” might not constitute defamation of character. It might just be another reason to celebrate diversity.