At the beginning of the present academic year, UNC-W (short for the University of North Carolina – We love black people) organized a reception for minority students. I decided not to attend because, a) I’m not a student and, b) I’ve been white even longer than Michael Jackson. But, interestingly, the week after the minority reception I discovered that a fellow Caucasian had decided to crash the party, which was supposed to be racially segregated.

It may surprise readers to learn that the white person who violated the university’s policy on segregation was none other than UNC-W Chancellor Rosemary DePaolo. I have proof that the chancellor was at the otherwise segregated event because a cameraman (I sure hope he was black!) took a picture of DePaolo talking to a black student named Antonio Jenkins. That picture was posted on the UNC-W website to remind us that, a) the university is not racist and, b) Rosemary DePaolo likes black people.

The picture of Rosemary and Antonio has helped to change my whole perspective on university race relations. Some examples will explain why:

-The other day, I was driving past the Chancellor’s multi-million dollar mansion when I saw a homeless black man leaning against the tall brick wall that surrounds her spacious yard. The next time I drove by, the homeless black man was gone. At first, I thought university officials ran him off the property. Now, I have determined that Chancellor DePaolo let him come in to live with her and her husband in the university-supplied-rent-free mansion. After all, Rosemary loves black people. I’ve seen the pictures.

-For years, the university has been using lower admission standards for blacks relative to whites. I always thought that lowering SAT and GPA standards for black applicants reflected the university’s racist view that whites are smarter than blacks. But, now, I know there is another reason. Rosemary DePaolo just wants more black people around. Rosemary loves black people. And she has the pictures to prove it.

-For years, the African-American Center, the black faculty meetings, and the black “brown bag” luncheons made me wonder whether the old “colored” and “white” signs from the 1950s would be put back over the restrooms and water fountains at UNCW. I always thought segregation was racist. But now I know that Rosemary DePaolo lets blacks segregate themselves for a different reason. Rosemary loves black people so much that she sets different standards just for them. I know she loves black people. I’ve seen the pictures.

-Recently, a black female (and Democratic politician) was allowed to finish her term as a member of the UNCW Board of Trustees, despite some rather obvious signs of mental instability. For example, she thought the local police had broken into her house to unplug her refrigerator, dump trash in her bathtub, and put thousands of lizards inside her house. She also accused the local police of following her all the way to Hawaii to defecate on the bed sheets in her Maui hotel room (all of these accusations are explained in her book “Under Oath: Memoirs of an honest politician”).

After the black trustee publicly called a white police officer “White trash,” I thought the university should have let her go for her racism. When the university decided to keep her, I thought it was a sign of racism on behalf of an institution that constantly holds black people to lower standards of behavior. But, now, I know that the university just loves black people and wants more of them (but don’t call them “them”) around. Of course, I know Rosemary DePaolo loves black people. I’ve even seen pictures. Continued...