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Friday, May 25, 2007
Megan Basham :: Townhall.com Columnist
Stay-at-Home Economics
by Megan Basham
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Last year, in response to the increasing numbers of women opting out of the workforce, author Linda Hirshman took to the morning shows proclaiming women demean themselves by becoming fulltime mothers. No matter how much love goes into the labor of cleaning the dishes and changing the diapers, it is beneath their dignity, she insisted.

For the most part, the stay-at-home crowd yawned, flipped the channels and cheerfully returned to the debasing business of shuttling the kids from school to soccer practice. However, while the latest feminist general to take the field in the Mommy Wars has the same end in mind—the return of all women to fulltime work—her battle plan seems far more likely to yield results. Rather than shaming women back into the office, she attempts to scare them into it.

In her new book, The Feminine Mistake, Vanity Fair writer Leslie Bennetts charges that women who step-back from working are taking an extreme economic risk. Book critics and editorialists at major papers and women’s magazines have tended to agree. They may not all appreciate her tone, but they still applaud Bennetts for issuing a “wake-up call” to wives who depend on their men to provide for the family.

Yet if off-ramping is the dangerous “high-stakes gamble” Bennetts and her supporters claim, why are so many smart, rational women laying their money and their futures on the table? Perhaps because even a cursory look at hard data (rather than the collection of sad stories Bennetts has put forth) indicates that, statistically, there is very little to fear from making motherhood a career choice. Indeed, having one partner out of the workforce can actually provide protection against financial ruin.

According to work-first feminists, the scariest bogeyman looming over women who stay home is divorce. Men leave their wives high and dry all the time, she insists. In fact, they don’t. Women initiate about two-thirds of divorces, so the idea that droves of middleclass men are blindsiding their spouses with abandonment is almost as much a fantasy as Prince Charming once was.

Of course, that still leaves the third who will not initiate their divorces, but research demonstrates that the women Bennetts fears for most are the least likely to be a part of that group. Among wives with at least a bachelors degree (the demographic that stands to lose the most career ground by stepping back from the workforce) only 16 percent will divorce within ten years. Given that 60 percent of all divorces occur within that time frame, educated opt-out moms are playing very good odds.

The statistics are also favorable for stay-at-home mothers in general. During the 90s, stay-at-home wives were 40 percent less likely to get divorced than their working counterparts. A 2004 study in the Journal of Marriage and Family revealed that couples have a much greater chance of splitting when the husband and wife earn equal incomes than when one partner is the primary breadwinner. When the higher-earning partner does leave, it is most often the wife.

Numerous studies have found that the better able a man is to provide financially (thus making the option of a stay-at-home wife more feasible) the less likely a couple is to end their union. Taken all together, this makes the average middleclass husband seem about as much of a financial risk as a blue-chip stock. Continued...

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About The Author

Megan Basham is the author of Beside Every Successful Man: A Woman's Guide To Having It All

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I think some have missed the point
Ms. Bennetts book is interesting to read, not for its paltry contribution to actual data on the questions of economics at hand, but that at least she urges women to really think about their choices and make financial plans. Where both she and Linda Hirshman fall down are their breezy assertions that kids are just A-OK in daycare so women should have no qualms about leaving them there to make sure their careers are not derailed. Bennetts leans heavily on one source to validate that-- a social worker in a day care/ school situation. Of course using such a source fails every test of statistical significance, but it does raise questions. When and how much nonmaternal care is good or OK or just passable. Bennetts herself used a private nanny, a saint from Guyana who loved Bennetts' children as much as she does. Lay aside the snarky comments and think about that. I'm sure Bennetts does love her children but I wonder about a plan for elite women that includes enslaving third world women. I highly doubt that her Guyanese nanny received a solid Manhattan wage of at least $20/hour plus health benefits, paid holidays, pension contributions and the like. More likely, not even her social security was paid. But at least Ms Bennetts got to soldier on in her career as a journalist. She has no trouble believing that a women who would accept such a no-growth-opportunity position as a private nanny might be doing it because she has no other choice, for lack of skills or papers. Does this nanny really LOVE her children. Really? Is that Santa Claus I hear?

My aunt ran a Head Start preschool for many years and after I announced that I was staying home with my children until they started actual school (not the ridiculous "daycare named school" that is so prevalent), she announced emphatically "Good. Little children should be with their mothers." Yes, there are exceptions. Yes, some kids are better with caregivers than their unmaternal mothers. But truly: what could be more natural than children needing and wanting their mothers.

Hello Again Moms/Women/Demosthenes
Just checking back on comments here and it's nice to see so many bright, capable women who have found happiness in the regular old being-a-mom thing. Several of us seem to have similar religious beliefs, as well. I think that when you believe in God and let him direct your life, He will bring you to what is genuine happiness. At least that's my experience...

Women have everything these days (at least in the US and similar places). They contribute to the world and can do almost anything. These opportunities are great blessings themselves. You can have a career, family, both, whatever.

And when you are also blessed with children and the opportunity to raise them, it is an even bigger privilege. Many women are not able to have babies, but they are still influential and important -- and probably get more sleep!

I believe in also respecting the men in our lives. There ARE great men out there, despite what I was taught in college.

So yeah, there's no need to bash on someone who has made different choices in life.

Hi to Momof5girls, Virginia Lady, KristinJ, Cynthia, rightwingmom and others!

AudiR10, I was mistaken, you DO have children. You seem very interesting, I'll have to check out your blog.
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