Now that gay marriage is legal in California, I feel a lot safer than I did last month. Islamic terrorists no longer need to fear waterboard interrogations, but I bet they will break just as easily when liberals force homosexual marriages down their throats.

Then again, liberals normally subject only conservative Americans to queer (as in perplexing) policies. Even liberals understand that discussing homosexuality with Muslims could potentially lead to increased violence. And obviously, coercing an Islamic terrorist to tolerate gay marriage violates the rules of multiculturalism.

Suddenly, I don’t feel so safe anymore.

In fact, I’m actually beginning to understand the Democrats’ approach to national security. Liberals pride themselves on their ability to recognize a victim when they see one. And apparently they see Islamic terrorists as the victims of America’s evil military.

Counterterrorism for Democrats revolves around rescuing jihadists from the Bush administration. It is as if Islamic terrorists are the left’s new minority class – a special interest group that liberals can nurture at taxpayers’ expense. Perhaps the Democrats see Islamic terrorists as a future voting block. Don’t laugh -- the Supreme Court just invented their right to habeas corpus.

Furthermore, Democrats have spared no taxpayer expense when it comes to terrorist entitlements or safe havens. At Gitmo, our tax dollars are spent to supply every detainee with his own personal Qur’an and prayer mat. Detainees receive three meals a day, healthcare, recreational exercise (like volleyball), a bed, clean linen, a working toilet, organized prayer time, a trip to the Caribbean, and now a constitutional right to America’s judicial system. Throw in the words “hope” and “change” and you practically have Obama’s campaign promises.

Meanwhile, our Marines and soldiers are sleeping in dirt, digging cat holes to relieve themselves, nursing wounds on the battlefield, eating MREs, and paying for their own Bibles – unless they accept one donated by private charities.

As for another revolting reality, Democrats in Congress fall all over themselves rushing to express their loathing towards Marines or soldiers merely accused of wrongdoing. But when allegations prove to be false, as in the bogusly labeled “Haditha Massacre” (or the sham story of the world’s smallest Qur’an being flushed down a toilet), Democrats like John Murtha offer no apologies to these Marines or our military. Instead, the congressmen scurry off -- retreating towards the nearest elevator.

Democrats also promote the idea that waterboarding three top al Qaeda terrorists -- done to obtain crucial intelligence that prevented other acts of terrorism -- is no different than our enemies’ mutilating American POWs or hostages for some sadistic pleasure. Again, the liberals’ hysteria over this issue perpetuates their position that Islamic terrorists are merely victims of evil Republicans. Like their theory that poverty causes crime, liberals believe Republicans cause Islamic terrorists to think all non-Muslims are infidels worthy of slaughter.

Finally, if Democrats were not trying to save terrorists from America, Barak Obama would not be so devoted to surrendering in Iraq. Wouldn’t a sudden end to the increasing number of dead terrorists and a premature American withdrawal from Iraq be the last thing terrorists are praying for?

“Yes we can” hope that Democrats’ handing out benevolent victories to Islamic terrorists will sooner or later debilitate the jihadists just as handing out welfare checks in America has incapacitated so many liberals. On the other hand, you could just vote Republican -- and pray that McCain chooses a great vice president.