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Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Kathleen Parker :: Townhall.com Columnist
The Aphorism Drive
by Kathleen Parker
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WASHINGTON -- Freud recognized that human beings have a sex drive and even a death drive. Is it possible that we also have an aphorism drive?

We do seem attracted to pat answers and pithy summations -- especially from our politicians. It isn't enough to be wise or effective; one must be quotable.

In fact, aphorism is the oldest written art form, according to aphorism expert and author James Geary ("The World in a Phrase: A Brief History of the Aphorism"). Before famed aphorists Mark Twain, Dorothy Parker and Woody Allen put the party in repartee, Buddha, Jesus and Muhammad were creating buzz. Five thousand years ago, the Egyptians and Chinese were chiseling out sturdy statements of universal truth.

Les bons mots tend to make us feel better, lending form to our thoughts and order to our emotions. They're especially useful in times of duress. Eulogies and editorials invariably feature those three little words: "As (fill in the blank) said."

Here comes one now: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself." Ahhhh. Feeling better already. Thus was born the Hallelujah Chorus.

Then again, more often these days, a politician's happy turn of phrase makes me feel worse. I don't know whether to clap my hands or clutch my wallet. Why does the very thing intended to make one feel uplifted and inspired make me feel manipulated and skeptical?

Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert, writing recently in the The New York Times, inadvertently may have offered a clue. He was explaining that people are happiest when they are certain. We don't like not knowing, apparently, even when what we know is awful.

Gilbert cited various experiments to make his point, including one involving the certifiably awful colostomy. People who knew their colostomies would be permanent were happier than people whose colostomies might someday be reversed. Gilbert's conclusion: People would rather know than not know. Knowing, they can make psychological adjustments.

"We find our bootstraps and tug," he wrote. "But we can't come to terms with circumstances whose terms we don't yet know."

Gilbert's observations were in the context of our current economic woes. As soon as we know how bad things are (or aren't), he said, we'll adapt and get along just fine.

He may be right as far as it goes, but the same uncertainty that makes human beings unhappy also stimulates the creativity that makes us happy. Was Leonardo da Vinci happy? Homer? George Washington? Man's drive to create isn't born of contentment, but of anxiety attached to the unconscious agitation that comes from the greatest certainty ever devised: Death.

Here is a truism, if not an aphorism. Without death and the certainty of physical finitude, Homo sapiens would never have left the cave. Unhappiness and uncertainty -- rather than happiness and certitude -- are what get us off our duffs.

No misery. No Sistine Chapel.

So what happens to the creative spirit when government steps in to soothe our anxieties? Without unhappiness, what happens to culture? Without adversity, what happens to motivation? Parents know. Suffice to say, the work ethic is not strong among the coddled.

Most important, with all needs met, what happens to freedom -- that human recoil against imposed order?

When Rahm Emanuel said, "You never want a serious crisis to go to waste," he wasn't the first or the last to express the sentiment. George W. Bush was accused of taking advantage of Americans' post-9/11 terror to expand executive power. Barack Obama will be remembered for creating budget-busting social programs while Americans were caught in the headlights of unemployment and economic reversal.

The citizen's fear is the politician's elixir.

Certainty may be the promise of government, but uncertainty is the grease of free markets. Uncertainty was also America's midwife. Without a tolerance for uncertainty -- and unhappiness -- our nation's founders might have remained in their rockers.

Previous generations understood that life is a gamble of uncertain returns. They were sometimes sad because life is sometimes sad. They were good at coping in bad times because downturns were more familiar than upticks.

Today, we apparently trade liberty for certainty and our once-swashbuckling spirit for contentment, preferably in pill form. All we need is a nice aphorism to help the medicine go down. Here's one beloved by conservatives to get things rolling: "A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have."

Happy now?

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About The Author
Kathleen Parker is a syndicated columnist with the Washington Post Writers Group.
 
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Kathleen
Did you actually write this for the ten year olds? (Or maybe for the trolls?) It has about as much substance as a fifth grader's paper.

BTW, with the exception of BF (you figure it out!), our founding fathers were not old men as you imply with the "rocker" comment. Are you coming to mistrust your man in the WH or are you trying to get back in the game with conservatives because you finally figured out which way the ill wind is blowing? Tough beans lady--- I don't think you have a TRUE conservative bone in your body or friend.

You had me 'til the last paragraph...
For the past year I have had this perverse, ongoing desire to see KP redeemed – though I hadn’t always agreed with her, for many years she was one of my favorite columnists, and it has been difficult for me to let that go. Directionally, she had a long history of calling attention to a lot of things that needed to be pointed out – and in some clever and often very humorous ways.

I was pretty much tracking with her here - until her parting cheap shot at conservatives and their eye-rollingly stupid belief that an all-powerful and ever-expanding government might pose some sort of a threat to someone. While we conservatives may be 'simple,' it is worth nothing that totalitarian states have a frighteningly consistent track record of doing some pretty horrendous things to their subjects. I recognize that calling attention to this fact is neither urbane, fashionable, nor sophisticated – but it does have the virtue of being true.

I, too, get tired of bumper sticker-level discourse that masquerades as political 'thought' these days, but in the end, don't think that's really what she was intending to criticize here at all. When I was done reading, I felt like the whole column had just been a set-up for a closing cheap shot at a group of people to whom KP is harboring some condescending and acrimonious feelings.

Maybe she has made a lot of ‘new friends’ during this past year, but I doubt whether she knows how many of her one-time fans she has alienated with this ‘fresh perspective’ she seems to have discovered.

Gawd what a pile of crap
Huh, I was going to say I have never heard any of these quips that made any sense at all or made me feel better. I consider all of them complete stupidity and lies, however typing my title did offer a good feeling for a moment.
Let's face it, we had a lot more to fear than just fear, and telling ourselve some jerkoff libtard lie IS NOT comforting or helpful except for the complete morons that love repeating crap because that's all they can come up with.
What the fear but fear itself quote actually MEANT was the prezzy was confident we would win. THAT WAS IT'S MEANING.
He could have just as easily said "It is my estimation we will prevail".
These little talking point phrases are more an irritation nowadays than anything else.
The best they do is indicate if it's a piece of crap liberal or a conservative or some other politcal designate.
The drive for them is ZERO in comparison to anything else, and they indicate an increasingly STUPID populace as they have recently gained in use like parrotted CRAP we are abuse with, often MISAPPLIED.

The Sistene Chapel
sprang from certainty. Religious faith is certainty and it was certainty that brought Mother Teresa to India (never mind the lack of gnosis that assailed her later on) and it is certainty that allows someone to don a bomb jacket and go look for Jews to kill. We do these things because we KNOW.
And when anyone sounds wistful about hard times, I call to mind the photo of a starving African child and the carrion bird sitting nearby, waiting. (Having seen it, it is always near to hand.) Plenty of hard times there. Don't feel at all wistful about them.
However, that aphorism at the end is designed to NOT make it go down easy, I think. She put her objection into an aphorism.

Rahm & Sex Drive???
"Freud recognized that..."

"human beings have a sex drive..."

"and even a death drive."


All next to a photograph of Ballerahma Emmanuel.


Gross.

Yep!
While this wasn't one of Kathleen's more cogent efforts, she's correct about the situation we're in.

We the people have voluntarily become drones subject to the whims of politicians. Politicians have wooed us with pretty words that promise to remove all uncertainty from our lives (see: Obama, Barack). The USSR also tried, and succeeded, in removing uncertainty from its subjects. It was successful in that 99% of the population was certain that life would always be miserable. How long before we reach that happy state?

Lightining Grasp of the Self-Evident
Hmmm ... politics is rife with catch-phrases and sound bites, and darn it, our leaders use them as a substitute for serious discussion. Didn't know that before, thanks.

Knowing you know.
What you say is so true and this is why,for cancer patients, the wait for check-up test results can be almost as stressful as the first diagnosis.
On the other hand when you first hear you actually have cancer you reach a point-at least, many do-where you are glad it was actually discovered, rather than continue to grow until terminal, and happy that treatment has started. Downright awful to know...but good to "finally know."

Kathleen triumphant
KP delivers an excellent column this time. If certain Palinistas are still fuming at her for last year, too bad. She's witty, insightful and, yes, conservative.

KP
As an editor, I was itching to trim some of the wool gathering from this essay. You could have made your point as (or more) effectively with 1/3 of the wordage excised.

Greg:
I believe you misread. I saw KP's final paragraph comment as a "be careful what you wish for - you might get it" warning to us conservatives willing to roll over for Barry's collectivism.



Powells sister gives clever advice

You conservatives need to shut up and stay in your corner outside the tent. Your money and votes are allowed in though.


Couldn't make it through a whole column
... without getting that last insult in to the Conservatives who read townhall. Anyone else notice that she spoke of us as though she was NOT one of us? She might as well have said "THOSE conservatives." Her columns have become nothing but tales "told by an idiot, full of sound and flurry, signifying nothing."

(And, yes, I MEANT to say "flurry"!)

MY GOSH,KATHLEEN IS ON THE KOOL-AID
A COULD NOT HANDLE THE WHOLE ARTICLE,KATHLEEN IS THE QUEEN OF CHAOS.WOW,WIERD ARTICLE.

Another Explanation
Many years ago when I taught high school English, on the first day of class I had a boy come up to me on his way out of the room, as he left, and say very politely, "I just want you to know---I don't read hard books.".

Aphorisms are the opposite of hard books. Even a four year-old can quickly learn to chant "Drill, Baby, drill!" (fifty years ago, in the angry days of desegregation, the chant was "Law and order!"). It's not necessary to study the geophysics of oil drilling or the economics of petroleum distribution---or the playout of race relations vs the civil order. That's too much like reading hard books.

I notice that most conservatives don't like uncertainty, or nuance, or description, or ambiguity, or comparative morality, or on-the-other-hand-maybe-THIS-is right---they like their knowledge in short sharp shocks. No hard books, please.

Another Explanation
Many years ago when I taught high school English, on the first day of class I had a boy come up to me on his way out of the room, as he left, and say very politely, "I just want you to know---I don't read hard books.".

Aphorisms are the opposite of hard books. Even a four year-old can quickly learn to chant "Drill, Baby, drill!" (fifty years ago, in the angry days of desegregation, the chant was "Law and order!"). It's not necessary to study the geophysics of oil drilling or the economics of petroleum distribution---or the playout of race relations vs the civil order. That's too much like reading hard books.

I notice that most conservatives don't like uncertainty, or nuance, or description, or ambiguity, or comparative morality, or on-the-other-hand-maybe-THIS-is right---they like their knowledge in short sharp shocks. No hard books, please.

Vitriol
I think the reaction to this piece is a disturbing trend rising within the right. I take her meaning in the last paragraph to be one of warning: We too are subject to the sound bite culture. The party's "listening tour" is nothing more than a way to distill a set of talking points and sound bites for the haters to consume, and thinkers to stop thinking. Want to know what the party needs to do to become relevant? Fire our leadership! They got us into this mess, and they should not be allowed to lead till they PROVE their commitment to their sound bites they vomit across the air waves.

Many of you accusing her of drinking Kool-aid are drinking your own, it just pisses you off her's is a different color. Do yourselves a favor and let it go.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

No hard books prease
Thanks Lily. It is always edifying to be lectured on sophistication and nuance by former English teachers, especially those who use run-on sentences and clearly have no idea how to use a dash.

I concede that slogans are irritating. They are however easily trumped by unjustified condescension.

Regards,

Mark

Lilly
"I notice that most conservatives don't like uncertainty, or nuance, or description, or ambiguity, or comparative morality, or on-the-other-hand-maybe-THIS-is right---they like their knowledge in short sharp shocks. No hard books, please. "

You hit it right on. I can't accuse of all
conservatives of this, but it is certainly
true of the majority of posters here on Town
Hall.

Mmeed:
" They are however easily trumped by unjustified condescension." I truly doubt that
Lilly was patronizing anyone. To patronize
has the implication that one is trying to at
least pretend to give your argument or position
credence. I didn't notice any pretense of that
at all.

It must be the
"Lilly was patronizing anyone. To patronize
has the implication that one is trying to at
least pretend to give your argument or position
credence. I didn't notice any pretense of that
at all."

I am sure some combination of a good night's sleep on my part, or a few rewrites on yours, would render your comments more intelligible but at present I don't have the pleasure of understanding you. If this was intended as a zinger you will appreciate this necessarily diminishes its impact.

Since I didn't use the word "patronizing", and since it is by no means synonymous with the one I did, the value in discussing its meaning (real or imagined) more or less eludes me.

Moving along, my only point was if one is going to insist on repeating the mantra that conservatives are dumb, dumb, dumb (especially in the absence of supporting evidence or any pretense at logical rigour) one should at least do so with something approximating standard English. It kind of undercuts the argument when one sounds like one should be taking English and not teaching it.

Best wishes,

Mark


The Aphorism Drive
I was shocked and dismayed to read about Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert talking about the "certifiably awful colostomy." As an individual who underwent ostomy surgery in 1986 after battling Crohn's disease since her teen years, I feel this comment by a psychologist to be disturbing and insulting the those of us living happy, fulfilling and active lives with an ostomy.

I know of no other surgery that bears the brunt of cruel jokes and disgusting humor. Why I have to ask. Ostomy surgery is surrounded by secrecy, embarrassment, misinformation, and myths. Comments such as Daniel Gilbert's only serve to reinformce these stereotypes. In fact they make it worse, coming from a professional.

The media compounds these fears, stereotypes and myths by continuing to print these remarks, and does nothing to refute them so the endless cycle continues. Even a well respected physician made famous by a noted talk show host actually asked me "what's so interesting about ostomy surgery?" Those of us who have undergone this life saving surgical procedure have incredible stories to share with the public but we have an uphill battle trying to do that.

To Daniel Gilvert and his commnet about the certifiably awful colostomy-I say shame on you! What IS certifiably awful is choosing to die from colon cancer, bladder cancer or struggling with Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis, when a healthy, active,prodctive life is possible with an ostomy.

You gotta have guts when most of your guts are gone, Mr. Gilbert! Those of us living happy, health lives with an ostomy do...about 750,000 of us just in the United States alone!

Bring it on, Mr. Gilbert!

Lois Fink
Edmonds, WA
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