WASHINGTON -- Tears all dry now, I'm worried about the pending deaths of Cynicism and Snark. In fact, I've just returned from my first meeting of CASA -- Cynics and Snarks Anonymous. It was crowded.

And boring.

But such will be life during the next four to eight years. With the election of Barack Obama, Cynicism and Snark are officially passe. Translation: Humor and irreverence are out; earnestness and sincerity are in.

David Denby, The New Yorker film critic, has written a book decrying our old bad habits: "Snark: It's Mean, It's Personal, and It's Ruining Our Conversation." I couldn't agree more. Snark is cheap and bad for you. But then, so are hot dogs. I still want one now and then.

Cynicism isn't just unfashionable; it's downright unpatriotic. Heretical. With the planet melting (when it isn't freezing), two wars and a tanking economy, we need spirited optimism, not defeatist cynicism.

Under the Obama Order of Hope and Change, the new patriotism is helpfulness. The new anthem is: "Howdy Neighbor!" Soon we'll be like the Thailand highway police, wearing smiley-face masks to help reduce stress. As the Thai commander said: "When we're tired, it's hard to keep smiling."

As of Monday, the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday will be put to its intended use as a National Day of Service. (Congress designated it as such in 1994, but it didn't quite take off.) In a special video delivered to e-mail boxes recently, rising first lady Michelle Obama earnestly implores Americans to volunteer "with a spirit of unity and shared commitment."

The outgoing president asked us to shop; this one wants us to give it up. Gai ge kai fang! as the Chinese put it. Reform and open the door! Not that I'm making any comparisons.

The incoming first lady reminds us that King lived his life in service to others and we should, too. And we should! Earnestly! Still, National Service Day has that Homeland Security feel to it. Will we soon be wearing armbands that say: "I volunteered"?

I've got a stash of virtue labels: I voted. I gave blood. Most Americans seem to own a wristband or two indicating solidarity with some victim group. Here's an idea: Why not wear a wedding band that says, "I married the parent of my child"? By helping the largest victim group in the country -- our marginalized kids -- we might not need so many third-party do-gooders.

Meanwhile, the Obamas plan to spend Monday volunteering in their new community. What about you? Not sure where to go? No worries. At USAService.org, the Renew America Together Web site, you can type in your ZIP code and find (or host) an event nearby. Continued...