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Friday, December 14, 2007
Kathleen Parker :: Townhall.com Columnist
He's Not Satan, He's My Brother
by Kathleen Parker
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Poll
Was the Copenhagen Global Warming Summit Walk-Out a Win for the U.S.?


Alan Keyes: Why does he get 30 minutes and I get 30 seconds?

Church Lady: Because your eyes are popping out of your head.

John McCain: Excuse me.

Mike Huckabee: Thank you, Enid, if I may. And I wish I could take every minute of your generous offer to explain why I am the only real Christian standing on this stage, to tell the good people of Iowa and evangelicals everywhere why I -- and not Mitt Romney -- am The One, but I do have to part the Red Sea later today and so will have to cut my remarks short.

Let me just say, though, that I am really very sorry I ever mentioned the Jesus-Satan thing to that New York Times reporter, who took those words among 8,000 and made it sound like I was trying to remind voters that Mormonism is a false religion. I wasn't. Like I said, it was just something I heard.

Mitt Romney: Madame ...

Church Lady: I'm not talking to you.

Alan Keyes: I was for fetuses before Mitt Romney was for fetuses.

Fred Thompson: Madame, if I may just point out, I am the tallest person here today and should be president.

John McCain: Excuse me ...

Church Lady: Alrighty, alrighty, everybody shut up. We're out of time and we didn't even get to talk about Giuliani's naughty parts. Well, I guess out of Christian charity, we should give heretic Romney five or 10 seconds. Make that three.

Mitt Romney: Thank you, Madame Moderator. I just wanted to say that as president, I will put no doctrine of any church above the plain duties of the office and the sovereign authority of the law. And, of course, I forgive Mr. Huckabee, even though he knows exactly what he's doing.

Church Lady: Isn't that special.

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About The Author
Kathleen Parker is a syndicated columnist with the Washington Post Writers Group.
 
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Reply # 1
Date: Dec 23, 2007 - 1:41 AM EST
Rob - "Fundamentalist" is GOOD, not bad.


Hi Rob,


Rob writes: "And you wonder--why people think fundamentalists are loons?"


Since you refuse to answer the question yourself, I'll explain what I was trying to get at. It wasn't a trick question Rob, I was just hoping to make a point.


If you have a child, do you want your child taught "new math", or the fundamentals? Same question for reading, would you want your child to learn the “fundamentals” (including phonics), or the “new” method that is creating a generation of children who can’t read?


If you're having a house built, and it's your money on the line (and roof over your head), do you want an architect grounded in the fundamentals of engineering and architecture, or do you just want somebody to “wing it”?


If you have a private banker, or even own a mutual fund, do you want a fund manager who is grounded in the “fundamentals” of finance, or are you going to trust your hard-earned cash to some guy who took a course he bought off of late night TV and then stayed at a Holiday Inn last night?


The point is, “fundamentalist” is not a bad word, it’s a GOOD word. Most people would choose a “fundamentalist” over the alternative when it comes to just about anything that’s really important to them…


…and I can think of nothing more important than our souls…


“For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” (Mark 8:36, KJV)


Flag as Offensive

Reply # 2
Date: Dec 22, 2007 - 8:52 PM EST
And you wonder--
--why people think fundamentalists are loons? Signs? Prophet tests? Magic books?
Flag as Offensive
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