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Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Kathleen Parker :: Townhall.com Columnist
John Edwards' Death by Bangs
by Kathleen Parker
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``Il n'y a pas de grand homme pour son valet-de-chambre.'' (No man is a hero to his valet.)
-- Mme. A.M. Bigot de Cornuel

At least he's still got good hair.

Otherwise, it may be over for John Edwards, thanks to a resurrected video of him primping, too lovingly, his hair.

The video, set to the song ``I Feel Pretty,'' has been airing on television, posted on YouTube and circulating on the Internet the past few days with potentially devastating effect for the man unflatteringly referred to as the ``Breck Girl.'' It also illustrates the enormous power of YouTube in politics forevermore.

For a while, it seemed Edwards might shake the Breck brand. Recently, while responding to Ann Coulter's remark referring to him with a word we're not allowed to use, Edwards sported a studiously short-cropped, un-boyish do. His face was so frozen in gravitas that Dick Cheney sent him a bottle of champagne and a joy buzzer.

Now, thanks to the omnipresent and unforgiving YouTube -- and the incessant linkage of Web sites -- John Edwards isn't just associated with hair. He is hair.

He's also a stand-in for Narcissus, mesmerized by his own beauty reflected in the small mirror he holds up to appraise himself. I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and ... oh never mind.

Anyone who has had a photograph taken or appeared on camera understands that primping precedes picture. We've all done it. Combed the hair, worn the makeup, considered the surgery.

But not all of us are running for president of the United States. Didn't Edwards know they were filming? Didn't the doo-wop dude of the Blogosphere know that the Internet crouches in wait for anyone who dares pretend to the throne? The captured moment shows Edwards not just fixing his hair, but taking it very, very seriously. After he sweeps his bangs aside for about the tenth time -- and after the makeup artist has finished muting his shine -- Edwards takes the small powder compact from her for a final review.

Another brush of the bangs. Another. Another. He is not just interested in how he looks. He is riveted, his laser gaze so intense, you wonder: What's he looking for?

Many times lately, I've defended Edwards in private conversations, saying it's not his fault he's so cute. He was born that way. It's not his fault he looks young for his age. Lucky people do. It's not his fault that he's rich. At least it's not un-American, even if his populist ``Two Americas'' message rings a little faux as he builds a 28,000-square-foot monument to Ego. I mean, a house. Continued...

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About The Author
Kathleen Parker is a syndicated columnist with the Washington Post Writers Group.
 
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John-John Jr.
Yes, John Edwards is just too cute for words. The fact that his wife, whose breast cancer has spread to inoperable bone cancer, is going to be up front and visible in his campaign is just more of his ambulance chasing, personal injury lawyer ways: go for the sympathy vote. Blind the jury with emotion not facts. Now that I have been diagnosed with breast cancer, I feel differently about him dragging his wife around the country on a campaign that is only being run to cater to his immense ego. I kept asking when he ran the first time, what makes this man think he is fit to be the leader of the free world? Some PI cases, a lot of money, cute looks, and a half term as a senator? Hell, he didn't pay his taxes on his vacation home on time or vote in the school board elections when he was a civilian. Some committment to politics and his civic duty. As someone living in NC, I feel entitled to dump all over him. I love sending that YouTube video to everyone I know. It says all you need to know about Breck Girl. And the Raleigh paper ran an aerial photo of the 28,000 square ft house in the paper: it's amazing overkill. When his wife dies, he'll be rattling around in there like a pea ina gourd. He won't even be able to find his children. Maybe they'll be hunkered down on the private raquetball court that his wife said he built for her to work on her weight problem. If you've seen a picture of her lately, it looks like the cancer is taking care of that.
As for Left Angle's comment:
star power, charisma, smarts and name recognition.
Gee, I don't see poliical experience, statesmanship, guts, and judgment anywhere in there. You commielibs are a sorry bunch. And you don't even know it.

Sorry
But this "combing the hair" thing doesn't have legs. Wishing it would won't make it so. Guiliani's family troubles, Romney's religion, and spats between Obamam and Clinton are far more visible and far more talked about.
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