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Friday, March 09, 2007
Kathleen Parker :: Townhall.com Columnist
Youthful Indiscretions Online
by Kathleen Parker
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WASHINGTON -- It seemed like a good idea at the time.

How often have we all pasted that cartoon balloon over the mental image of a youthful indiscretion? Thank goodness no one had a camera, we might add.

Now everybody has a camera, and youthful indiscretions are captured for all time. And suddenly, we're not so young anymore.

The MySpace-Facebook-dot-com generation has come of age, and some are finding that their silly stunts have come back to haunt them as they enter the grown-up marketplace. Others are finding that their private moments are not so private after all.

Three young women featured anonymously in a recent Washington Post article told horror stories of their attempts to find jobs, only to discover that they may have been disqualified by online postings by virtual strangers. Gossip and graphics included.

One, a Phi Beta Kappa graduate and Yale law student who had gotten articles published in law journals, interviewed at 16 firms for a summer job and received no offers. How could that be?

It turned out that she and others had been discussed in not-so-flattering terms on an online message board, AutoAdmit, which is run by a third-year law student at the University of Pennsylvania and a 23-year-old insurance agent, according to the Post. The board boasts up to 1 million visitors a month, and postings can be anonymous.

And vicious.

Another woman featured in the Post story is a Yale law student and Fulbright scholar who graduated summa cum laude. Not only was she the subject of a derogatory AutoAdmit chat, but photographs of her were posted on a ''hottest'' law school student contest site with graphic discussions of her attributes.

Not everyone hates to be considered ``hot,'' but this woman was afraid to go to the gym because visitors to the site were encouraged to take cell-phone pictures of her. Beware the chatterbox in the shower stall next door. Another young woman felt afraid when online chatter about her led to an anonymous sexual threat.

The tension between free speech and privacy is nothing new, but the debate has become more complicated by the explosion in video portability and networking Web sites. In today's uncivil society, the stakes are high and the rules are low.

Invite anonymity to the mix and hostility finds release in the vacuum created when shame went missing.

Unfortunately for some, employers are now using the Internet to vet job candidates. They, too, can be privy to those just-for-fun college forays, as well as to commentary from those with an ax to grind.

The Post reported research showing that about half of U.S. hiring officials use the Internet to evaluate job applicants and that about one-third had denied employment based on material produced by an Internet search engine. Could it happen to you? Apparently, it could happen to anyone.

Today's college students frequently post their bios with photos on Facebook.com. Innocent and inexperienced in the realm of repercussions, they don't hesitate to display their silliest selves, clothed and often not.

The generation that was serenaded by Madonna and marinated in sexual imagery now dwells in a high-tech, freewheeling, sexually explicit environment where porn is the new risque and everybody's gone wild.

Ivy League and other large universities frequently are home to sex magazines featuring students who say posing nude is ``fun'' and a ``badge of honor,'' according to last Sunday's New York Times magazine. What's the big deal? ``A body is a body is a body, and I'm proud of my body, and why not show my body?'' asks Alecia Oleyourryk, co-founder of Boink, a ``user-friendly porn'' magazine produced by students at Boston University.

``It's not going to keep me from having a job.''

Famous last words, perhaps.

It is true that a body is just a body, and everybody has one. But those who've lived awhile know that what we ''knew'' with certainty in our 20s isn't necessarily what we come to know in our 30s, 40s and 50s. When you sexualize and objectify yourself, it's asking a lot that others -- including future bosses -- refrain from doing the same.

Advice to the young: If you can't imagine your mother or father doing something, you probably shouldn't do it either. Your kids may remind you of that someday.

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About The Author
Kathleen Parker is a syndicated columnist with the Washington Post Writers Group.
 
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my 2 cents
The world is going faster and faster and without any ethical grounding is anyone really surprised at what Ms. Parker describes?

Would it make me a religious nut to suggest that Jesus Christ is the answer to the question that is life or would it make me someone who is quoting Pope John Paul II?

Your Permanent Record (sese my blog)
for an article on Your Permanent Record.

Generation GrabbyBaby is finding that the Get Out Of Jail Free protest "It Was A Joke!" is no longer the free pass it was when Mommy and Daddy and their Lawyer stood between them and the consequences of their stupid behaviour. I know that my own firm vets students looking for their Articling Year partially through Google. If you don't want to walk into the Managing Partner's office and see your nekkid booty shaking to the beat of some filthy collection of huffs, grunts and blasphemy on a 50" wide screen, I'd advise you to keep such behaviour for the shower at home.

Anybody who doesn't believe this behaviour will ever catch up to him isn't paying attention to the current race for the Presidency or for any other national office. You know what hay was made of the Arte Johnson style photo of Dukakis in a tank -- now imagine a picture of Hilary dancing nekkid in the mud at Woodstock. (No, you can't imagine it. Good for you.) You know there's one out there somewhere. In the 2012 election there will be people running for office who will be faced by these pictures on YouTube, MySpace and FaceBook. Whatever you may do to destroy the record, somebody somewhere will have copies. Not to mention all the people listening in the elevator while you screamed company secrets into your cell phone.

One of the big reasons the World of One will come to an end sooner rather than later is that all the recordings and replays will bring the dancing, prancing, booty-shaking, cursing and threatening behaviour onto the Wide Screen where everyone can see and enjoy it. A generation who believes it's not real until they see it on television is about to get a very rude awakening.

Anonymity
The greatest problem with these Internet sites is that it grants complete anonymity, and therefore complete lack of culpability to everyone with the simplest axe to grind.

I remember when Clinton was under fire (rightly so) for his act to evade service in Vietnam while remaining "politically viable in the system." All we had to go on (all we should have had to go on) were his own words.

Today, a disgruntled friend, a former rival with an axe to grind or even a complete stranger who is a little touched in the head can torch another person's life with a quick click of the cell-phone camera in the gym locker room.

There was a time when we wouldn't NEED laws to stop this, because everyone understood the concept of "my rights end where your rights begin" or, at the very least they thought it was better to err on the side of caution.

I have to join Uncle Max and risk being declared a religious nut:

Our culture, which has grown over sexualized since the introduction of over-the-counter birth control and abortion on demand, has turned into a culture where no person is viewed by another as subjective. No one cares what impact his actions have on someone else because, as far as he is concerned, that someone else is just a thing.

We've not only stopped seeing Jesus Christ in our fellow man, we've stopped seeing our fellow man in our fellow man. We live in a nation of 300 million "me's" and not a single "you."

U Max - You are right on target!


Can you indulge and not get burned? These students turned adults are finding that "freedom" expressed is not really free at all.

At the risk of sounding judgemental, the best way to avoid the backlash is not to run with the crowd. A person is known by the friends they have and their "lowest" levels of behavior.

The thing that has really changed is the ease of exposure and the willingness to expose.






Access equals exploitation
There's a bit of an age difference between my husband and me (he's younger) and it's enough to observe dramatic differences between his friends and mine, in terms of plastering everything about themselves on the net. (His friends do; mine wouldn't dream of it.) I've been shocked to see his friends air grievances - and very private thoughts - about each other and themselves on places like LiveJournal, Facebook (I think of it as Fecesbook) and others. There is no thought to how hurtful that kind of thing is, or whether the whole world NEEDS to know what you think about everything and everyone, or your every anxiety, whim, fantasy, caprice and vice (query: ARE there 'vices' anymore? Or is everything just "edgy"?)

Not only is there little sense of decorum, or etiquette or common courtesy, there is no longer any sense of personal PRIVACY. Want to describe (or film) yourself taking a shower? Awesome. Having sex with (multiple) people? Even better! Taking a dump? Oh, wow - what an artiste!!

People don't need to be exploited anymore. The internet - and a complete lack of an internal compass - allows them to exploit themselves. And it isn't JUST the sense of anonymity. It's a bizarre amalgam of wanting "anonymity" when it comes to destroying people you hardly know, asserting your "identity" when it comes to destroying people you DO know, and craving notoriety when it comes to destroying yourself.

Welcome to the world where everyone can be a "reality TV star" in their own show, and anyone else can watch. It's beyond pathetic. It's even beyond Orwellian.

We have not even begun to see the horrific consequences that this sort of thing will produce. As for those who are finding that some people (like prospective employers) are still a bit more judgmental about these so-called "youthful" (nonsense) antics, I have absolutely no sympathy. There must be some place left in the United States where actions have consequences. If it's only in employment, then so be it.

For my part, my goal is to keep my own children as sheltered from this garbage as humanly possible. It is a war, and we are girding for battle in my house.

One piece of sage counsel...
... which I received as I left home to make my way in the world, held forth thusly:

Never write anything down, or take a picture of anything, or put anything on a computer, unless you wouldn't mind seeing it projected on a 5'x8'screen in a court of law.

This piece of advice has served me well.

Mad_Mike
With the advent of security and other camera's everywhere another piece of advice is, outside of your own home, always assume you are being filmed.

Antonella Barba
Perhaps this kind of thing is what cost Antonella Barba her spot on American Idol [although her lack of singing talent probably helped] and one must give her the benefit of the doubt on some of the pix on the internet. That being said, there are pictures of her that are provacative, and we must consider the possibility that she was trying to get a boost in her survivability, considering her lack of talent.

tombo
I saw an interview with her best friend last night. Apparently, those pictures were taken some time before American Idol. They were pictures she had taken for her long-time boyfriend. Since they made their way to the internet, I wonder how long he will be her boyfriend.

also ...
her photos can possibly lead to some show biz career, possibly in cheap slasher movies or other R or NC-17 movies. She covered her bases in what she thought was a win-win situation. We shall see.

re: beez
beez wrote:

"... Today, a disgruntled friend, a former rival with an axe to grind or even a complete stranger who is a little touched in the head can torch another person's life with a quick click of the cell-phone camera in the gym locker room.

"There was a time when we wouldn't NEED laws to stop this, because everyone understood the concept of 'my rights end where your rights begin' or, at the very least they thought it was better to err on the side of caution..."

===

Well, there was also the risk of a well-deserved punch in the face with minimal risk of civil suit or criminal prosecution for the punch*er*.

I wonder how much civil and polite society would be if we still had the tradition of dueling?

-----------------------------


"... Our culture, which has grown over sexualized since the introduction of over-the-counter birth control and abortion on demand, has turned into a culture where no person is viewed by another as subjective. No one cares what impact his actions have on someone else because, as far as he is concerned, that someone else is just a thing..."

===

While you are correct, to a degree, I must disagree with your allegations of cause.

Birth control and abortion-on-demand are, actually, *symptoms* not *causes*. The *cause* dates back to the mid/late-1800's and the introduction of communism into political discourse and it was cemented during the "New Deal" and, later, "Great Society" era programs.

Wellfare, social security, and every other form of government subsidy for our *individual* wellfare has trained us that we are not responsible for ourselves. That lead, naturally, to another mentality -- Freedom With*out* Responsibility.

It is evident in nearly *every* aspect of American life today. Individuals expect to have the freedom to do whatever the h3ll they please, to reap and enjoy the *rewards* for their behavior (when positive) while simultaneously expecting to be free from any adverse consequences for their choices.

Birth control, including abortion-on-demand, is merely the natural extension of that mentality. They facilitate the Freedom to Phuque with*out* Responsibility for the Consequences.

Remember the day
when the right to privacy used to be enforced and if abridged, could not be used against you in a court of law?

Here's a blast from the past:

Andy Griffith clip...
http://www.ifilm.com/video/2816011

Here's another one:
Amendment IV
"The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized."

Is it any wonder that we have lost our way with the likes of Michael Hayden, the former director of the NSA (and current director of the CIA), who DOES NOT KNOW the 4TH Amendment? Watch him yourself.

http://www.crooksandliars.com/2006/05/06.html#a8184

Are you outraged? You should be.

A Record is Just That
The internet is the most universally expansive communications tool devised by mankind. It encompasses everything; repeat everything, good and bad, to the extreme and all point in between.

In the early days its forerunner, video transmission, was regulated by standards of the day, because of limited band width licenses were issued with reciprocal expectations of behavior, content. After video infancy reached its stride, we witnessed more and more nefarious on screen characters challenging those standards, fortunately still encumbered by band width. But a break down the totalitarian restrictions trend was on the march and evolving, witnessed by going from one Ozzie the Good to Ozzie the Bad.

I’m not advocating regulation, nay the opposite. This tool is still in its infancy. Early on in the internet world, the word “flame” of common parlance went from a stove top tool to a colloquialism for lambasting someone. Not that it was necessarily bad. If you were the least bit aware, it was easy to see whether someone was merely grinding their axe or had a cogent argument.

Now with all restrictions off, those employers and HR managers that can’t tell the difference between flaming idiots firing off their blow torch from reasoned discourse will likely end up with employee pabulum. After all it’s the safe bet.

I agree with Mrs. Parker. Those young people who indulge in more prurient proclivities as a right of passage will find their life’s learning curve mimicking that of everyone who went full throttle into internet showmanship as valued expression. If that’s what they want their record to be, have at it.

Like Mad_Mike I learned early on. just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

Jo Bo
Thanks for the good words.

qualifications
If someone has outstanding qualifications and some law firm sees something online generated by someone spying on the person or that they said something rash as all young people sometimes do, then that is not a good law firm even if they are listed as the best because they are exhibiting shortsightedness, inability to get to the bottom of an apparent contradiction, between their qualifications and whatever the firm thinks is incriminating. A person with the highest qualifications got there through talent intelligence and hard work and a law firm that gets thrown off by some online dirt, and that firm does not try to find out if there is any truth or meaning to the online stain on that person's reputation is a just a lousy and stupid law firm. They are also a bunch of hypocrits because no doubt they were young and members of fraternities and frat brothers never commit indiscretions right, yeah right.

Behave
Several commenters make great points. Just behave. Big brother is watching and little bro and sis and...
In a way this unintended backlash is good for us all bringing a new meaning to the old neighborhood lifestyle where everyone's mom would correct you on the spot and then call your mom so you could get some more corrrection.
I guess this means the end for "Girls Gone Wild". I don't see being Kathleen opposed to that idea.
I do think employers are going to find out that they have to separate the wheat from the chaff. Everyone has had moments of embarassement, either accidental or self imposed. If employers want picture perfect employees and they're going to scour the internet for any little jot or tittle out of place they will not be able to find the best employees.
Just my para_dimz.

I Beg To Differ
Once upon a time, a history of drug use pretty much disqualified someone from public office. Visible tattoos disqualified folks from a lot of "respectable" jobs. Illegitmae children were concealed, since they indicated a certain lack of moral character. Once enough people have done it, however, the stigma disappears.

We're not far from a day when an appearance in a porn video will draw no more attention than Clinton's weed, W's bourbon, or Obama's blow. Like it or not, porn is mainstreaming at a tremendous pace, and it won't be considered inappropriate much longer. Sex addicition is already a recognized medical condition - pretty soon porn performers will be entitled to protection under the ADA.

Hell, my law school had women who paid tuition by stripping, and in at least one instance, performing in Cinemax movies. All are currently employed in the legal field now, too.

ProfGene
An employer can set his standards wherever he likes. Some of the stuff people do on line could get them disbarred and their law firm a lot more noteriety than some employers are willing to face. Prudent law firms take this into account. They're lawyers. They are suspicious by nature.

Believe it or not, some day you might not want your daughter to google her Daddy's name and find a video of him puking all over his buddy's BMW, or frolicking nekkid with half a dozen girls that aren't her Mama. Some day you might even google your daughter's name and see her doing what you did....

Well...they can only go on what
they know...stop and think about it...an employer wants to know what you are like to make sure that you are going to fit in with the culture of the organization. Private life is not private if it is videotaped before the whole world. Don't put yourself in that situation. A little bit of self control now will pay big dividends later on.

I don't have tatoos I don't have body piercings, I didn't party and I don't have anything on the internet that could embarres me other than what I post here and a few other sites.

Not only that, my kids don't have a myspace and no matter how much my 14 year old begs she will never get one. At least not living with me she won't. No mater how much she begs...ain't gonna happen. Neither will my seven yr old daughter nor my son. Because point blank, the world doesn't revolve around them and no stranger needs to know that much information about them.

Parent need to teach their kids that every action has a consequence. That means, if they come home drunk...make sure that they get up first thing in the morning to the LOUDEST radio that you have ever given them...along with a chore list the length of your arm with you standing over them, making sure they do it and you (if you are me) talking the whole time and making that headache of thier's a lot worse. If they come in late from curfew -- no car, no license, no nothing but cooling your heels at home. They smart mouth you -- take away their phone, TV anything you can think of. Pretty soon your teenager will learn that they have to be responsible for their actions or a lot of bad things are going to happen to them. If they threaten to run away, take them to a homeless shelter for the day to volunteer so that they can find out what actually happens to runaways, betcha they'll think twice before the threaten to do that again... It means that parents have to stop thinking that they are their kids best friends and have to start thinking that they are resposible for doing the best they can to make sure that their kids grow up to be resposible adults

Reconsider Qualifications
The idea that a young person can have “high qualifications” and still be rejected by an employer is a difficult one for many of my students to grasp, as well. While I would agree that an organization that didn’t verify “some online dirt” before turning down a prospective applicant is being terribly unjust, given the prevalence of fabricated and malicious information on the Internet, it is also true that there is a lot of verifiable stuff out there that can be terribly damaging. The concept many of my students fail to grasp is that there are a lot of highly qualified young people out there, and when you have 5 or 10 or 20 excellent prospects on your desk, you are no longer looking for reasons to include (high GPA, honor societies, internship experience), you are looking for reasons to exclude. In other words, you’re looking for an excuse to toss an otherwise "highly qualified" application in the trash can. And when someone posts “edgy” pictures of themselves on their own site, has a DWI record, or even shows up at the job interview in skimpy dress or with visible tattoos or body piercings, it’s a reason to exclude. It is also a wake-up call for many of my students to realize employers do not offer positions based upon their own fear of being “a bunch of hypocrites” who may have done foolish things in their past. If possible, they’re hoping to find someone smarter than that.

Uncle Max
Right on, Brother.
As a recently explained to someone else:

God's just about out of Bubblegum.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wp_K8prLfso
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