At least the celebs who queue up to give voice to Ensler's demons are fully adults. More insidious is the V-invasion of campuses where young women absorb and parrot the ideology of man's badness.

In such an overtly hostile environment, it's little wonder that men have turned to playmates of the pixelated variety and that doctors report a rise in impotence among college males.

It would be delightful to ignore the monologues, but at a time when even the very personal is political -- and sex drives politics, policy and whole economies -- vagina-ism is as innocuous as a virus.

Ensler and disciples, indeed, have recently focused their sights on more ambitious goals.

Last month, V-warriors merged with anti-warriors in the peace march on Washington, where Ensler joined such anti-war luminaries as Jane Fonda and Susan Sarandon. Clarifying her agenda, Ensler said in a statement:

``We are saying that if a government supports the use of force, weapons, violence as a method of control and dominance, this models and gives license to the same kind of behavior at home.''

Deconstructing Ensler's free-associative proclamation, we see that using force in war to control and dominate the enemy leads inevitably to patriarchal violence against women at home. That's quite a leap of logic.

If Western civilization has been dominated thus far by a phallocentric patriarchy, it would seem we're heading ineluctably toward domination by a vagina-obsessed matriarchy.

Whether peace will reign upon the Earth remains to be seen. But if I were a male of the species, I'd consider manning the barricades.

And by all means, guard your weapons.