The problem with petitions and ``I Had An Abortion'' T-shirts, such as those hawked by Planned Parenthood, is that they trivialize the deeply emotional and spiritual consequences many women suffer. They also deny girls and young women access to the nobler feminist position that knowledge is power.

We insist on informed consent for appendectomies or tooth extractions, but not abortions. As a result, American daughters now coming of age will see only the go-girl aspect of sexual freedom without the whoa-mama revelation of maternal awe.

The latter isn't learned from a textbook, but is experienced during that moment of personal reckoning when one realizes that a fetus is unequivocally a baby. My own transformative thinking -- from an unflinching pro-choicer to a disclaiming pro-lifer -- came with childbirth and motherhood.

After experiencing the humbling power of creation, it was impossible for me to view abortion as anything but the taking of a life. That is the truer lesson feminism should impart to its little sisters.

Now for the painful disclaimer I hinted at above. It begins with ``Nevertheless,'' and ends with ``I am reluctantly pro-choice.'' The very bottom line is that abortion ultimately is a personal decision. That said, I favor far stricter limits than most pro-choicers, beginning with ``six weeks and time's up.''

I figure 42 days is enough time for a gal to figure out whether she's up for motherhood. It's not a perfect solution, but it's a sane remedy to appalling recklessness.

As I differ with pro-choicers, I also differ with pro-lifers who insist that once abortion is outlawed, hearts and minds will follow. It is more likely that abortion will continue, but will become more dangerous and even more hideous.

Hearts and minds indeed must be changed, and feminists -- if they really care about women -- should lead the charge. By showing and telling the unfiltered truth, abortion eventually will die of natural causes.

Flaunting abortion on T-shirts and petitions may make for radical fashion, but the models and signatories aren't likely to sway people in the hoped-for way. For beneath the message is a callousness that merely reiterates the lack of empathy implicit in every abortion. Likely few will be inclined to award empathy in return.