BOSTON - "How do you solve a problem like Tere-zah?"

All week I've been whistling the tune from "The Sound of Music," mentally substituting the name Teresa for Maria.

"How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? How do you find a word that means Teresa? A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the-wisp! A clown!"

Not that Mrs. Kerry is any of the above - far from it - but finding the right word to describe this unconventional potential first lady has spinmeisters and wordsmiths politely stumped. Democrats' protests to the contrary, she is a bit of a problem for the man who would be president.

It isn't so much the content of her recent "shove it" remark to a reporter, which doubtless millions applauded in vicarious appreciation, but rather what her volatile reaction suggests about Mrs. Kerry's temperament and a clear sense of entitlement that precludes all but acquiescence from the hoi polloi.

Suffice it to say that people with a billion dollars at their fingertips don't hear much from "No-men," while the need for grace under fire rarely comes up.

Mrs. Kerry's now-familiar "shove it" comment followed remarks to the Pennsylvania delegation during which she lamented creeping incivility in public life, noting that "un-Pennsylvanian and sometimes un-American traits" are infecting politics. As if to demonstrate the point, she told a reporter to "shove it" after he asked her to clarify what she meant by "un-American activity."

An exasperated Mrs. Kerry denied ever saying "un-American," told him to "shove it" and huffed away. It wasn't precisely Cheney-esque, but no one would confuse the ketchup heiress with Laura Bush.

No matter how hard the Kerry camp spins her outburst, regular folk - those so beloved by the two-Americas, two-John ticket - see it as behavior unbecoming a first lady. As matters evolved, Mrs. Kerry's speechwriters came up with a clever way to mute the controversy by introducing a feminist conceit and opening the floor to discussion of the more politically palatable question of equality.

Mrs. Kerry isn't arrogant or abrasive, as some might have inferred. Why, she's a woman of deeply held conviction and a champion of free speech. Voila! Salud! And molto bene, while we're at it.

Addressing the Democratic Convention Tuesday night, Mrs. Kerry gamely hinted at her outburst, inviting a group wink, laughter and cheers: "By now, I hope it will come as no surprise that I have something to say."

Then she burnished the raw image of a bullying rich woman with brush strokes of gilded rhetoric: Continued...