DEAR JOYCE: I am a 52-year-old woman and have been out of work since November. I went on an interview at XYZ Builders. I interviewed with a person named "Jamar." He told me about the company and what the job entailed, and then that I had the experience they were looking for, and offered me the job. I accepted. Jamar then said that training would be given on Mondays or Wednesdays -- he was not sure of the exact day.

Jamar said he would call me the next day before 4 p.m. to confirm training dates. We shook hands and I left. Not hearing from him by the cutoff time, I called him at 4:40 p.m. that day. No luck. Since then, in the intervening three weeks, I have called two more times. Is there anything I can do about this person's lack of professionalism? This hurts and did nothing for my self-esteem as an older woman. Why did he do this? -- C.F.

Why is Jamar missing in action? Maybe he was mugged and left for dead. Perhaps he won the lottery and ditched his job. Possibly he's snowbound and can't shovel out his driveway. Perchance he was suddenly cast to star in a new high-budget film that began production the day of your interview. Or it may be that Jamar is just a jerk.

MORE REASONS. The possibilities go on and on. The company may have found a candidate they like better. One of the managers may have cast the evil eye on you. One of your references gave you a bad rap. Jamar had no authority to hire you and is too embarrassed to say he blew it.

The radio silence may not be related to you at all and could reflect a budget crisis, a reordering of company priorities or a newly found caution in hiring anyone other than indispensible personnel. Or, for all anyone knows, a customer canceled a big contract, the company instituted an emergency hiring freeze, and Jamar's out looking for a job.

WHY? So why doesn't a company representative just call you and tell you that you're no longer under consideration for the position? People don't like to give bad news, notifying the unchosen is time-consuming and doesn't contribute to the company's profits, and company lawyers may have advised against saying much of anything.

At this point, walk away. Privately, give your ill treatment the raspberry salute. Revenge, as the saying goes, may best be served cold, but it's positively delicious when it comes in the form of a better new job than the one you lost.

Don't beat yourself up over this irritating experience. Go out and do a fun thing with cheerful friends. Choose a new hairstyle. Perk up your wardrobe.

BASICS. And the next time you're up for an interview, never leave the interview -- especially one that ends with you being hired -- without knowing the first and last name of the interviewer, the interviewer's job title and the job title of the position for which you're competing or have been hired. Confirm that the interviewer is the manager to whom you would report; if not, determine the name of your new boss.

DEAR JOYCE: After going through a couple of jobs that were soured by bad bosses, I'm wondering how to get a lead on small companies before I make another mistake. Without using a computer, how can I check out a place before applying? -- R.S.

The ask-around method might work if you have a circle of friends with whom you can begin your research. Or, if you're a good schmoozer, you can show up at the lunch hour or after work at restaurants and watering holes where the targeted company's employees hang out.