A rabbi, a priest, and Barack Obama walked into a bar. The rabbi and priest both said "Ouch." Obama said nothing. See, messiahs don't get hurt walking smack into a bar.

Barack Obama dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates. "So this is heaven," Obama says. "What's it like, healthcare up here?" St. Peter misunderstands him as saying he'd like Hell and didn't care for it up here, so he shrugs and sends him down there. "Cool," Obama says upon arrival. "It really IS just like Canada's!"

Practice these, improve on them, and then move on to that rapidly filling "That's not the ___ I knew" bin for when Obama throws his next lifelong radical pal under the bus, tomorrow. When you can look back at the whole But-but-but we can't laugh at HIM stuff with a chuckle, you're cured. (And by the way, phony messiahs are easy, easy targets. As are their disciples.)

The fact is, we need you. As the late Tony Snow said in April, "Laughter is maybe the most important and underrated ingredients in politics. If you cannot laugh at politics, you are not alive, or you're not paying attention."

So please, send in the comics. The clowns are already there. You know about McCain, at least. But c'mon: There once was a doofus named Barack …