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Friday, January 04, 2008
John McCaslin :: Townhall.com Columnist
Southern Speak
by John McCaslin
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Georgetown University associate professor Adam Lifshey suggests as much in a forthcoming college paper that adds a musical twist to the border issue: "Born in the Estados Unidos: The Unbordered Frontiers of Latin America from Gloria Anzaldua to Bruce Springsteen and Beyond."

"Latin America does not stop ... at the national line between Mexico and the United States," Mr. Lifshey argues. "Currently, approximately one-tenth of the Mexican population is in the United States, a figure that does not even include the millions of Mexican-Americans who are U.S. citizens" (which he says puts the actual figure at approximately one-half of Mexico's present population, according to a campus news release).

Otherwise, he says, Latin America and the United States flow into each other in indivisible ways, including music, and thus "cannot be cleanly separated into two distinct geopolitical or cultural units."

He cites "Matamoros Banks" on Mr. Springsteen's 2005 "Devils & Dust" album, in which the singer adopts the voice of a Mexican man who dies in the Rio Grande while trying to reach his love on the northern side.

The professor says such a song "by a figure so associated with U.S. national imagery as Springsteen challenges conventional definitions of both Latin America and the United States and the walls that supposedly separate them."

Clinton's chimps

One of the last pieces of legislation President Clinton signed was the "Chimp Act," or Chimpanzee Health Improvement, Maintenance and Protection Act.

It established a refuge in Keithville, La., known as "Chimp Haven," to provide lifetime care to chimpanzees that were bred, purchased or used for research conducted or supported by the federal government.

Rep. Jim McCrery, Louisiana Republican, reveals that Chimp Haven is now home to 123 chimpanzees.

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About The Author

John McCaslin is a contributing columnist on Townhall.com and author of Inside The Beltway: Offbeat Stories, Scoops, and Shenanigans from around the Nation's Capital .

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A solution
"Otherwise, he says, Latin America and the United States flow into each other in indivisible ways, including music, and thus "cannot be cleanly separated into two distinct geopolitical or cultural units.""

A few dozen dirty nukes along the southern border should cure that problem. Maybe we could start positioning toxic waste dumps along there, too. No, I forget, we import more toxic waste than we produce, in the form of illegal invaders.

Hillary's biggest "accomplishment":
She married Bill Clinton.

It would take almost total ignorance of Hillary's "career" (which most resembles a rock star's groupie that has the dirt on the rock star...and Hillary certainly knows where the skeletons are buried as she assisted in many of the burials, eg, the Travelgate affair) for anyone with a respectable IQ to vote for this woman.

The one question she can't answer: "Can you name any three of your accomplishments in five seconds? Just hum if you run out of 'accomplishments,' as simply naming a few issues with no substance to your 'contributions' is not a valid answer."

I suspect that the happiest person should Hillary lose the nomination and the presidency would be Bill Clinton. They obviously loathe one another, much like Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker during their hay day.

My heart goes out to daughter Chelsea, who has lived her life in the shadows of her parents' despicable careers.

But I must confess that, as part of the vast right-wing conspiracy, I played a large role in depositing Bubba's sperm on Monica's blue dress. The toughest part was getting past White House security as Bubba couldn't even negotiate a successful bj.







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