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Friday, January 04, 2008
John McCaslin :: Townhall.com Columnist
Southern Speak
by John McCaslin
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What was the biggest suprise of Election Day?



"It seems to me like this tactic is about as useful as a pogo-stick in quicksand."

Or so writes Republican National Committee blogger James Richardson — a self-described "southern guy, so I can appreciate a southern accent" — but who considers Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards' repetitive point that "the last two Democratic presidents, Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter, both talk like me," the ultimate sign of desperation.

Fortunately, now that the Iowa caucuses are over, the candidates will be retooling and not rewinding their messages for primary voters in New Hampshire.

Homecoming

It's been more than a year since his nearly fatal brain hemorrhage, and Sen. Tim Johnson of South Dakota today is finally able to visit — even if only for one hour — his hometown neighbors in Vermillion, population 10,000.

The Democrat made a trip to South Dakota in August, but only for a celebration in Sioux Falls, the state's largest city. Since then, he's voiced a desire to visit Vermillion, on a bluff of the Missouri River, to thank the community for its support and prayers.

Fighting words

So you think that's a "fascist" you see on the right side of the aisle?

Coinciding with the release of his new book, "Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left, From Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning," syndicated columnist Jonah Goldberg will argue during a noon lecture at the Heritage Foundation on Wednesday that original fascists hailed from the left.

Nevertheless, the author points out that it's been conservatives frequently tarred with the insulting "fascist" label, if not "brownshirts" and "jackbooted storm troopers" — slurs he labels unfair and historically misplaced.

Mr. Goldberg says the fascism that was deemed genocidal and racist in Germany assumed a "friendlier" form in America, when espoused by progressives like John Dewey, Woodrow Wilson and Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

Born in the USA

Is half of Mexico already living in the United States? Continued...

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About The Author

John McCaslin is a contributing columnist on Townhall.com and author of Inside The Beltway: Offbeat Stories, Scoops, and Shenanigans from around the Nation's Capital .

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A solution
"Otherwise, he says, Latin America and the United States flow into each other in indivisible ways, including music, and thus "cannot be cleanly separated into two distinct geopolitical or cultural units.""

A few dozen dirty nukes along the southern border should cure that problem. Maybe we could start positioning toxic waste dumps along there, too. No, I forget, we import more toxic waste than we produce, in the form of illegal invaders.

Hillary's biggest "accomplishment":
She married Bill Clinton.

It would take almost total ignorance of Hillary's "career" (which most resembles a rock star's groupie that has the dirt on the rock star...and Hillary certainly knows where the skeletons are buried as she assisted in many of the burials, eg, the Travelgate affair) for anyone with a respectable IQ to vote for this woman.

The one question she can't answer: "Can you name any three of your accomplishments in five seconds? Just hum if you run out of 'accomplishments,' as simply naming a few issues with no substance to your 'contributions' is not a valid answer."

I suspect that the happiest person should Hillary lose the nomination and the presidency would be Bill Clinton. They obviously loathe one another, much like Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker during their hay day.

My heart goes out to daughter Chelsea, who has lived her life in the shadows of her parents' despicable careers.

But I must confess that, as part of the vast right-wing conspiracy, I played a large role in depositing Bubba's sperm on Monica's blue dress. The toughest part was getting past White House security as Bubba couldn't even negotiate a successful bj.







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