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Monday, December 31, 2001
John Leo :: Townhall.com Columnist
Small gems pop up here and there during 2001
by John Leo
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It's time for this column's roundup of the year's most memorable aphorisms, adages and other sayings.

  • "A rattlesnake loose in the living room tends to end all discussion of animal rights," Time magazine's Lance Morrow wrote after the Sept. 11 attacks.

  • After President Bush urged Americans not to stop spending and shopping, a reader's letter to the Tulsa (Okla.) World summed up the advice this way: "Don't sit there and ponder -- get out and squander."

  • "God, especially in times of crisis, has more spokespeople than Amway," wrote Miami Herald columnist Leonard Pitts Jr.

  • Writer Joseph Sobran offered a sharp comment on educational decline: "In one century we went from teaching Latin and Greek in high school to offering remedial English in college."

  • "When faced with unsettling developments like death, boomers always sign up for self-improvement classes," wrote humorist Joe Queenan.

  • Billy Crystal said: "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."

  • "Everything looks bad if you remember it," said Homer Simpson, the dim-witted cartoon star who remembers very little. Cars sprouted bumper stickers that sounded like Simpson sayings, including, "Earth first! We'll mine the other planets later," and "Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."

  • "Neutral justice neutralizes authority," said Philip Howard, author of "The Lost Art of Drawing the Line" and "The Death of Common Sense." He also asked: "If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?"

  • "If you don't like tomato soup, you don't buy tomato soup," columnist Kathleen Parker wrote about boycotting.

  • "Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn now and then," said a character in the golf movie, "The Legend of Bagger Vance."

  • William Hague, former leader of Britain's Conservative Party, explained his baldness by saying, "Grass doesn't grow on a busy street."

  • The best adage on Washington politics came from former senator Alan Simpson: "One day you're the toast of the town, the next day you're toast."

  • "The smaller the stakes, the pettier the politics," said James Lindast, a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution.

  • Writer P.J. O'Rourke said: "Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living."

  • Morton Blackwell, executive director of the Council for Economic Policy, said: "To succeed inside a political party, one must cultivate an ability to sit still and remain polite while foolish people speak nonsense."

  • "Celebrity is the enemy of content," wrote William Powers, National Journal's media critic. Continued...

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    About The Author

    John Leo is editor of MindingTheCampus.com and a former contributing editor at U.S. News and World Report.

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