* Why are so many liberals unpatriotic? It makes liberals feel morally superior to rant about what's wrong with their own country. Plus, as an added bonus, people from other nations agree with them and that makes them feel good as well.

* Why do so many liberals have so much confidence in the government? With liberals, it's not about whether something works or not, it's about how it makes them feel.

So, they can look at the IRS, post office, airport security, FEMA, and ICE and then say, "These are the same people we want handling our health care" -- because it's about making themselves feel good that they got people insured, not about getting the best system of health care for everyone.

* Why do so many liberals have so much confidence in the UN? See the previous answer and apply it on a global scale. The UN may be corrupt, anti-American, and utterly incompetent, but it makes liberals feel good to think that they're sending money to the poor in some godforsaken country (sure, it's not their money and almost all the money may be wasted or stolen, but it's the thought that counts).

* Why are liberals so hostile to successful people who don't happen to be celebrities, trial lawyers, or big donors to the Democratic Party? Again, this is another great opportunity for them to feel morally superior. They can feel like good people because they want to give money to the poor -- granted, not their money, but rich people's money. The rich have so much and the poor have so little, so why shouldn't liberals take it from them and then pat themselves on the back for their compassion?

Once you understand the basics of how liberals think, you can understand everything that they do. Granted, there will be a few exceptions, but if the vast herd of liberals is doing something that doesn't seem to fit the template, it's either because there's money or sex involved, they're doing what they have to do to win politically, they’re taking that position because they refuse to be on the same side as conservatives, or there's something going on you don't know about and it's not really an exception.

You've heard of the Dog Whisperer, right? Well, congrats, because after reading this column, you are now a "liberal whisperer" and you understand everything you need to know about the way that liberals think.