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Monday, April 30, 2007
Jennifer Roback Morse :: Townhall.com Columnist
How Dare Linda Hirshman Retire!
by Jennifer Roback Morse
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She is at it again. Linda Hirshman keeps turning up like a bad penny. Her friends at the New York Times have given her more space to spread her poisonous message that the intelligent woman’s place is at the office.

She has two objections to stay at home mothers. They are allowing their brains to rot, because any idiot can take care of children. And they are not sufficiently civic-minded, because they only care about their own children, and not the wider public good.

In that case, how dare Linda Hirshman retire? She is obviously an intelligent woman, highly trained, who spent her career teaching law at a prestigious university. How can she allow her brain to rot, playing shuffle board and knitting and going on cruises, and writing trivial essays for the New York Times? Oh, you say, that is just a stereotype of the activities of retired people. She is really still using her brain. Ah, but doesn’t she realize that the Social Security system is going bankrupt, paying benefits for the next thirty years to able-bodied 62- year-olds who feel entitled to retire just because they personally can afford it? She should keep working, as a public service to the Treasury. She should go back to her job at Brandeis, and spare the rest of us her New York Times essays.

Contra Ms. Hirshman, motherhood doesn’t mean the end of intelligence, any more than retirement does. My friend Kelly has nine children, and she works part-time as a tutor for special needs children in the public schools. Last summer, she taught herself algebra. Yes, her brain is definitely on hold. Surely that should impress Linda Hirshman: in my experience, most law professors, male or female, have at least a touch of math-phobia. My friend Leslie left the legal profession for a while when her five children were small. She now works in a family law office. These women have placed their intelligence at the service of their families, instead of at the service of an employer.

Let’s talk about the public goods produced by stay at home mothers. Feminists of the Linda Hirschman type evidently don’t realize that mothers are producing the next generation. The United States is the only developed country that is anywhere near replacement levels of fertility. Within our lifetimes, there will be no recognizable Italy, Spain or Japan, because there won’t be enough young Italians, Spaniards or Japanese to sustain the culture. American will survive as a distinct civilization because American women are taking the time to create, educate and sustain the next generation.

Her claim that stay at home moms care only about their own little nest could only have been written by someone who doesn’t actually know anybody outside an office. Just yesterday, I ran into my friend Barb at the office of the school our kids go to. Barb was holding her eighth child on her lap, while answering the phone and running the office of the school. Barb co-founded that school: a gift for many families for many years.

Continued...

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About The Author

Jennifer Roback Morse, Ph.D., is the author of Smart Sex: Finding Life-long Love In A Hook-up World. She blogs at jennifer-roback-morse.blogspot.com

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Linda Hirschman should never retire
I disagree with Linda Hirschman's synopsis that women should be in the office and not at home raising children. I agree with Jennifer Roback Morse' article completely. My wife Bonnie, was a stay-at-home mom who had a part-time job out of the house she raised three of our kids that way for many years and then went back to refresher nurse training and went back to hospital work which is grueling. She now fights breast cancer and will be going back to work in another month after disability. While she's been on disability, she has gone through three surgical operations, chemotherapy treatment, and is just begun radiation treatment. In the meantime she works out of the house or should I say in the house tending to her photo albums, doing laundry, helping with homework, helping our new grandson, and a myriad of other details that I could not list here. Do I think my wife has wasted her brain? Not a chance! I'm proud of my wife and I wouldn't want her to have changed anything.

To Ginny
For Heaven's sake, why does everyone act like this is an all-or-nothing proposition???

1. I agree that economic dependence is a gamble, and it is not one I've been inclined to take. My father told all three of his daughters to get our education - through graduate school. An educated mother can always find her way back into the work system, in the event of death, divorce or disability of her spouse. I have a friend who just got back in after 16 years being a SAHM.

2. The comment about not awarding seats to young women is just dumb. How many 18-year-olds know when - or if - they will marry? Or have children? Or be able to stay home with them? I graduated from college in 1983. I would dearly have loved to have married earlier, but I met my husband later in life and married in 2002. So should I not have gotten my college degree? My law degree? Not practiced law or been a law professor?

3. It's true that time away will mean some regrouping. Nothing comes without a price. Raising children is a full-time job, and a critically-important one. Women who choose to lose their seniority in the workforce know this, but consider it a reasonable price to pay for the emotional and psychological security they provide their children, which CANNOT be regained if lost, unlike one's pay grade.

4. Again, the assumption that PAID employment is the only one that benefits the family and society is absurd and untrue. We are now seeing what happens when an entire generation of children is sloughed off to third-party caregivers. Obesity, diabetes, learning disabilities and behavioral disorders in record numbers. On the heels of the VT tragedy, I can attest that the counseling professionals at universities will tell you that record numbers of students ARRIVE at college on psychotropic drugs, with eating disorders, suffering from depression (or previously having been diagnosed with it) and a whole host of other problems. And what about the high school shootings? My parents did not grow up with kids gunning each other down, and neither did I. I went to high school in the 1970s and college in the 1980s, not the 1940s, and it wasn't true then. I am not saying that every child from families where both parents work outside the home will end up fat, sick and depressed, but I think there is a strong correlation between children in massive numbers being farmed out to "caregivers" all day long every day, and the kinds of personality disorders and behavioral problems we are seeing. Yes, many of these parents are nice people. We all know them. They love their children. But if their children's needs are not being met, IT DOESN'T MATTER! Children's needs are notoriously incompatible with our desire for a paycheck, or glory, or recognition, or self-esteem. They need what they need.

5. I have many - MANY friends who dropped out of full-time employment to take leaves when their children were babies, only to return to part-time work when the kids were able to be in a morning or afternoon church program, or something else like it. Because their employers valued them and wanted to keep them, they took the long view and accommodated them. True, those colleagues were not making what they could have been. But again, they viewed that as a minor trade-off. And what of those women who leave the work force entirely when babies are born? Well, employers aren't omnicient, and don't know who will stay and who will leave. And when women leave, big deal! People leave jobs all the time. It's no different than training a man in a position who then gets hired away by another competitor.

What galls me - and others - about Hirshman's comments and those like it, is the complete disdain they have for women who place the welfare of their children above all other people. Do people really want to dance around this? Fine, then I'll say it out loud for everyone else to hear: MY CHILDREN ARE MORE IMPORTANT TO ME THAN ANYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET, INCLUDING YOU. To the extent that I can give them what they need and there is anything left over (and there usually is), then I will be there for you. But THEY COME FIRST. If Hirshman really wants to argue (as she has) that women should be more concerned with their "sisters'" well being in society than with the development of the helpless individuals entrusted to their care, she is deluded. And I don't mind saying so.

Finally, I agree with AudiR10 that women don't walk in lockstep, and no one lifestyle suits everyone. But that's not Morse's point here. She is complaining abour Hirshman's selfishness and narrowmindedness about women, and her disregard for children. Hirshman should expect to get the backlash she received - especially from the educated stay-at-home moms who are just as qualified as Hirshman is to write eloquently about their decisions.
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