The survey, given to students at two private, church-related universities in Southern California, asked students to evaluate their family’s relationship satisfaction, religiosity, and communication behaviors with the opposite-sex parent. Specifically, the study looked at the openness, assurance, dependency, and religiosity between the student and his or her mother or father.
Dependency — The authors define dependency as the attachment and emotional bonding that provides security that continues throughout a child’s lifetime. Healthy dependence is essential for autonomy. Ironically, parent-child dependency provides the foundation that enables the child to separate from the parents as he or she matures and becomes an adult. Social and emotional growth stems from a secure attachment — having a safe haven with parents enables a child to move away from their secure base to explore autonomy and independence as an adolescent and emerging adult. In other words, the more secure the base, the easier it is for a child to leave the nest; they know that the parents are there and feel secure enough to transition into a confident adulthood.
Openness — When parents and children openly and comfortably share their thoughts and emotions, the transition into healthy adulthood is easier. Further, such openness assists the child in decision-making. Greater interaction leads to fewer family problems. Parents who express love, offer frequent praise, and encourage give-and-take produce adolescents who are less likely to engage in dangerous behaviors when alone or with friends.
Assurance — A child’s self-esteem is strongly linked to parental assurance of worth. A vote of confidence from parents is particularly significant to adolescents. In fact, the ability to communicate assurance to a child is identified as a key to parental success. Successful parents give a child a sense of worth and lovability; coercive parents imply untrustworthiness and incompetence. These communication patterns especially affect girls; a father’s open encouragement and supportive attitude makes a daughter feel confident and creates a greater sense of personal worth.
Religiosity — The authors cited numerous studies that link religious beliefs and practices to a strong family unit and noted the fact that the most noticeable impact of religiosity is during adolescence. The majority of studies found an inverse relationship between religiosity and high-risk adolescent behaviors (drinking, drug use, sexual activity, depression, etc.). Other studies indicate a strong relationship between the family’s religious belief and practice and a teen’s emotional health and family well-being. This is especially true of teenage boys.
While family communication and interaction is critical to high-quality relationships for children and adolescents, this study suggests that the opposite-sex parent is especially important in making children feel validated and encouraged. This is true of boys as well as girls, but it is especially true of daughters. Fathers have the greatest impact on their daughters’ vitality as an adolescent college student. Daughters with a strong relationship with their father are more self-confident, self-reliant, and are more successful in school and career than those who have distant or absent fathers. Finally, the study validates the old adage, “The family that prays together, stays together” — even during those stressful adolescent and teen years.
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