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Thursday, August 16, 2007
Janice Shaw Crouse :: Townhall.com Columnist
Images From a High School Reunion
by Janice Shaw Crouse
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Going back for a high school class reunion sharpened my focus on certain realities. It was a milestone event for me this past weekend in Griffin, Georgia. Driving into town for the first time since my parents moved a year after my graduation was a trip back into what I like to think is authentic America.

Since I had not been able to attend any of the previous reunions, I was afraid I would find the kind of posturing and spinning that goes on at so many D.C. events, populated as it is with more than its share of outsized egos. Instead, I was surprised and very gratified to encounter moist eyes and genuine caring in my friends' hugs and greetings.

It was emotionally moving to experience my former classmates' open, friendly, warm welcome of their long-lost friend who left town and was so late in returning. Amazingly, it felt as though our friendships took up almost exactly where we left off so many years ago.

Our class had 181 graduating seniors, 70 of whom returned for this reunion. The following are a few of the dominant images that distilled in my mind from seeing these many old friends along with pouring over the written and pictorial accounts from the 61 who provided a page for the reunion yearbook.

Marriage is Still a Central Feature of Mainstream America: A clear majority of those attending the reunion were married within five years of graduating from high school and remain married to that original spouse – 42 of us. An additional three married later and are still married to the same person. Ten were divorced and remarried. Three were widowed and remarried and two were widowed or divorced and remain unmarried. Only one has never married. Though several of the women mentioned "being replaced with a younger model," there were no "trophy wives" at the reunion.

High School Teachers can have a "Profound and Continuing Influence:" Several classmates expressed gratitude and appreciation to specific teachers. A couple of classmates wrote that their lives were profoundly influenced by certain teachers. I know mine certainly was by Miss Julia Elliott whose influence pointed me to my career and helped shaped my character. Several classmates cited the quality of their Griffin High School education as a major factor in their later success in life and career. One recounted her college dean's comment that Griffin High graduates were always among the college's academically best prepared students.

Persistence and Dedication Can Trump Education: One of our classmates, the one who possibly had advanced the furthest in his profession, did not have the money for college so he got a job drafting for a mechanical contractor. He worked his way up to project engineer before joining one of the largest international construction companies, where he worked his way up to Corporate Vice President and was responsible for all the mechanical engineering estimating for projects all over the world – including the tallest building in the world, the Patroness Towers in Malaysia.

People from Small Town America Definitely Love to Travel: Numerous classmates specifically mentioned travel as their favorite leisure activity –– 12 of us have extensive experience with international travel and 13 enjoy travel here in the U.S. Others mentioned cruises, camping trips and long-distance trips to visit family and friends.

Patriotism is Still Deeply Ingrained and Integral to Our Identity: The opening prayer by our Senior Class president was beautifully crafted and included prayers for our President and other national leaders as well as prayers for those serving our country in the military. Eleven of our classmates were either in the military or married to a military man. One classmate ended his biography with a request that we pray for America's "political leadership and for the many fine young men and women who serve in our armed forces." He wrote, "They deserve our support."

Faith is Vital for Successfully Handling Life: Reunions always highlight the truth that life is hard. A family business destroyed by an unethical bookkeeper, children suffering and dying, a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis (MS), unexpected early death, companies downsizing, injuries ending activity and careers, divorce, abandonment, single parenthood, biopsies revealing malignancies, the death of a loved one to cancer, a child born with Down Syndrome, strokes, heart attacks and fatal accidents, parents requiring care –– only the grace of God enables us to thrive despite the "curve balls" that life throws at us. Numerous classmates mentioned the sustaining power of their faith and the support that comes from their involvement in a church community.

Ultimately, Family is Most Important: Our classmates were proud of their accomplishments. Several had college football scholarships and three lettered at major universities –– the University of Georgia, the U.S. Naval Academy and Georgia Tech. Several were Marine pilots and commercial airline pilots, several are multi-year church organists, one is President of the American Optometric Association, several are college or association board members, attorneys, CPAs, chiropractors, teachers, real estate brokers, nurses, doctors and artists. Among them were numerous small business owners, a band owner, a fund-raiser, , an architect, a banker, a dentist and others. In the end, though, everyone mentioned the importance of their family and wanted to share pictures of their loved ones.

These are the people who take in foster kids that nobody else will take, who spend weekends helping clean up after Hurricane Katrina, who take in a grandchild who needs special care, who assist with anything electronic, who are involved in MS or Parkinson's Support Groups, who serve on boards and earn "distinguished alumnus" awards, who raise money for charitable organizations, whose suggestions improve Social Security handling and processing, who travel to the poorest coal mining villages to bring supplies and medical care, who coach Little League, and who teach migrants safe driving lessons.

Before boarding our plane to return home, my husband and I had lunch at the Atlanta airport. Suddenly, applause broke out and dozens of people began to stand and clap. I was puzzled for a moment until I looked over to see a parade of fatigue-clad soldiers marching through the rotunda adjacent to the food court, heading out for deployment to Iraq. I was deeply moved as I watched their departure . . . with all of its uncertainty and peril. The moment struck home all the more poignantly since many of the men were accompanied by wives and children from whom they were being whisked away by the currents of war. Harder still, in some ways, was the sight of some of the women accompanied by a husband and children. As group after group passed by, we all stood and applauded until the very last of these fine young Americans had passed by.

This is how mainstream Americans feel about our soldiers who are sacrificing so much for their country and our freedom.

My happy emotional reunion imprinted anew on my heart a picture of the wonderful people who are the strength of America. These are people who internalize the commandment of Christ that we "love our neighbor as ourselves." Doubtless it's true that you can't go home again, but being with my former classmates renewed for me the reality that many of the most meaningful aspects of life stem from being with the people that we call friends.

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About The Author
Janice Shaw Crouse is a former speechwriter for George H. W. Bush and now political commentator for the Concerned Women for America Legislative Action Committee.
 
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MikeR
I guess that since it wasn't a condemnation of traditional American values you were reduced to your clever little treacle comment.

My guess is, since you are what you eat, you must have dipped them in maple syrup (sap) instead.

Fiddler1
No, actually I live below the maple syrup belt. Down here we use corn syrup. My wife prefers King brand.

I never realized that corny platitudes were a traditional American Value. So what reduced you to making a “clever little comment” tastelessness or helpless sycophantry?

Recommendation
There are too many people who infest this site for the sole purpose of being disgusting. If we would ignore these buffoons, they would ultimately go away.

wbheff
No no, Fiddler1 has just as much right to post as anyone.

Trophy Wives
Where was the mention, even if it were to say none was present, of the "newer, perhaps richer" man in the divorced womens lives?
The muth of the secretary replacing the old wife has run its course. There are a few comb over dudes in Corvettes doing that but the gals are divorcing the men so they can live with friggin cats!

conservativation
I've noticed that, in the few posts of yours that I've ever read, you really have issues with women . . .

What to expect in the real world
I'm willing to bet that if Ms. Crouse had done some interviewing at her reunion, she would probably have found out that at least some of her classmates actually vote for Democrats, that a few of them probably don't have a problem with gays or even gay marriage, and that there is a lot more tolerance among these folks than conservatives should be comfortable with. I'm sure some of those who applauded the men and women going off to war aren't very happy with the war to which our President is sending them. Her classmates sound a lot like my classmtes.

Actually, the reason trophy wives aren't in evidence is that few of us have the energy to collect or keep up with one. They're very high maintenance, as the kids put it.

Gestell,
We have plenty of tolerance for gays, even if we don't approve of them. And that's the issue - approval.

I actually liked this article
Having just attended my 20th high school reunion in a small New England town - I felt many of the emotions that Crouse expressed. There were only 135 in my graduating class - and about half that showed up. Many of my classmates I had known since before kidergarten.

Yes, there were classmates who were conservative, who were liberal, who were politically unaware. There were a few "trophy wives" there.

What I was most struck by was the warmth of my fellow classmates - old prejudices and hurts long forgotten. People seemed (at least on the surface) to genuinely care how the other's were doing.

Oh yes, and family was the most important thing to our class as well - our reunion was a beach BBQ and almost everyone brought their wives/husbands/children.

To those who think the article was "sappy" - I'm sorry - are you so jaded that you can't just enjoy a nice simple piece of writing?

Trophy Wives
I was replaced by my husband's younger secretary. However, he didn't get to enjoy her long. He died of cancer--which I wouldn't have wished on my worst enemy, let alone the father of my children.

Human sinfulness still exists, but so do nobility, generosity, and selflessness.

I thoroughly enjoyed the article and agree that it paints a picture of the America that never seems to make it to MSM prime time.

Read carefully
Mike R

I didn't say that Fiddler, or any of his ilk should not post. wWat I recommend is that no one respond to them. Responding only accords them the attention they crave, as they are much like three-year olds, having tantrums. Let them post their nasty little screeds, but don't dignify these with any replies.

Gee
Well yes I do have issues with TODAY's women. Believe me I know that NOT ALL women etc. etc., and I know well that NOT ALL anything, "not all" arguments are valid points but dodge the matter completely.
When someone says, "men are this and that", I interpret that as meaning that person has experienced a preponderance of men with the subject characteristic. However, when similar observances are made of women I frequently encounter the "not all" argument.
When I encounter a preponderanmce of women demonstrating certain relflexive assumptive capacity about the nature of men, this being accented and affirmed daily in print, on TV and radio, and even in churches, I feel the need to show the one sidedness of that because frankly I'm tired of it as a man.
Invariably I then get a GEE reaction...that I have a problem with men, and I will assume to GEE and others that drops my credibility and negates my point because I am assumed to be a lonely bitter divorced man paying child support.
Sorry, not the case, happily married 4 kids life is good, my observations are statistical not emotional.

conservativation
It's good to know that your observances are statistical rather than from the experience of some sort of bitter divorce!

Maybe it's just from my limited experience living in the Bible Belt (fly-over country), but I just don't see that today's women are as bad as you depict. I think media, especially advertising, tries to convince us that women of today see us men as complete idiots, worthy of ridicule and barely worth accepting money from, but most women I know don't like that stereotype. The bad thing is that much of this advertising comes from male ad. execs.!

In the end, despite what media tells them they want, the majority of women I see here in Kansas seem content to be married to traditional males.

What Eyewash
Clearly the author's high school experience was a positive one - indeed, she was probably a member of the "in clique" - a membership which would definitely slant her perspective.

Unfortunately, for too many, high school is a defining experience of a distinctly negative sort. If you aren't part of the good athlete/cheerleader/physically attractive/parents are community bigshots group, the experience can be definitely a hellish one. You definitely learn - and experience - all of the various gradations of prejudice and favoritism. High school becomes a four year prison sentence for which graduation becomes a moment to echoe Dr. King: "free at last, free at last, praise the Lord I'm free at last!"

For this much larger group, if you do go to a high school reunion, it is out of curiosity to see if these favored people got their comeuppance. I went to a prestigeous suburban school outside Chicago with a graduating classs of 1056. The majority who became the lawyers, doctors, CPA's, college professors, engineers - the educated professionals - were neither members of the "in" group nor even members of National Honor Society. The "best and brightest" ended up as mailmen or "artists" out in Boulder, Colorado; the kid with the Princeton scholarship never graduated and became a maintenance manager at a steel plant; the athletes became gray, balding and (many times) overweight; the girls you would have died for have lost their figures or are else parodies trotting out husbands or boyfriends a decade younger than them. After the schadenfreude wears off, you actually feel a little Christian charity for some of them.

driving a pony and cart 5 miles
My Mother attended High School by driving a pony and cart 5 miles each day, to a small town in Indiana. Fifty years later, at their reunion, EVERYONE was there. Now that’s amazing! Of course there were only a dozen or so members of the class, but everyone was there, some from a long distance away.

The highlight of 1990 was a trip across the USA in our RV to a memorable occasion, Emmy’s 45th High School Graduation Reunion near Chicago on Sept. 8.

We had stopped in Denver and bought a beautiful dress for her to wear. They had no pretty dresses for ladies in So. Calif., everything there was black, dark and ugly.

I insisted that Emmy was the “Belle Of The Ball.” Everyone agreed that there is something about a California girl. At one point I couldn’t find her, then spotted her surrounded by a half-dozen of her old classmates — all male! They had excellent taste!

A couple of times she came to where I was sitting, so I didn’t feel deserted. I told her, “We drove a long way so you could visit with your classmates, so go, get out of here, act like a teenager!”

Wolfgang
So essentially, the only reason you would go to a high school reunion would be to snicker and make fun of people . . . and you weren't popular? I'm shocked!

Ditto what Wolfgand said....
I could not get out of there fast enough. Went to my 20 year ( why, I don't know) and so many of the popluar folks were still stuck in that high school mentality. 30 years is coming up, I think I will save the airfare.

Nothing Wrong With Schadenfreude
"gee writes: Wolfgang
So essentially, the only reason you would go to a high school reunion would be to snicker and make fun of people . . . and you weren't popular? I'm shocked!"

So, Gee, you must have been in the "in clique" during your high school experience - I always find those of that background to be the most critical of the rest of us who come back to see whether people did something with the advantages they had. I never snickered or made fun - didn't have to - the way some of the former "elites" carried on at my 10th and 25th reunions spoke far more eloquently than anything I could have said. Besides, why pay compliments to people who don't deserve them. There IS a God - he just sometimes moves a little slower than we would like. And high school popularity is ultimately worth about as much as John Nance Garner's bucket full of cold spit.

High school reunions
When I was in high school, I remember my mother telling me that the "mean" kids (snotty, stuck-up or bullies) were insecure. I could see exactly what she meant. When I went back for the 10- and 20-year reunions, I found that nearly all of them had outgrown it. Life has a way of doing that. If you're still harboring grudges from the way you think you were treated in high school, maybe YOU'RE still insecure.

Wolfgang
Agree--high school popularity is meaningless!You couldn't be more wrong about me though! I was a crummy athlete; didn't get within shouting distance of dating a cheerleader. I was in honors classes and was in the drama club for God's sake--not a path to popularity. I recently attended my 20 year reunion and found that everyone was quite mature, friendly, and secure with themselves.

I have to admit though, my senior class was unusual in that there was a great deal of unity between us. We would have parties (this was back in the day when a house party didn't make the national news) with hundreds of kids, and no one was left out. We all found people to be "in with".

I just took umbrage with your attitude that anyone who actually stoops to interact with classmates in a friendly way at a reunion must be part of the elite . . .

I wasn't a member of my
"in crowd" in high school, and at the time (20 years ago) I was glad to leave the place.

However, over the years, I found myself thinking fondly of the place and the people with whom I had spent during those 12 years of school.

At both my 10th and 20th reunions, I found that most of the people who were a bit snobby had out grown it, and were in fact, pleasant and nice. I'm not saying that everyone magically transformed, but most had.

What I discovered that all of us being together in that time and place formed a bond, and it was nice to be around folks who had the same old memories as I did. (I live not close to my hometown now). I was also able to make a few "new friends" from my old classmates who now live near me.

Jim - thank you for sharing the story about your mother's 50th reunion. May we all get to see our own!

reply to CT
Let's look at "tolerance." When you "tolerate" a person, you're probably operating from a moral stance that looks like this:

(a) I could and should do something urtful/unkind/lethal to you, but I know that I might get caught, so I'll hold myself in check, Or:

(b)You're really hateful and loathesome, and deserve the worst from me, but because it's impolite, I'll just keep quiet, although I'd be within my rights to give you what you deserve.

Now "approval." This is the interesting one. I'm not aware of "approving" (or "disapproving") of people I meet based on my guess about whom they sleep with. Conservative Christians make this their very first concern, as far as I can tell, and that's really....interesting, isn't it?


Cynical postings
Why so many cynical posts? Why would anyone find it necessary to simply write something as nasty and worthless as MikeR's snarky remarks? I was brought up to believe that "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". That philosophy has served me well, and I find when I don't adhere to it, it causes me more trouble than when I do. But I suppose it's "treacley".

I'll say something nice :-)
I believe attending reunions renews your faith in the times of your youth. It seems so many of us express the thought of how "fortunate" we were to have grown up in the years we did. And then, ten years later, another group feels the same way!

Renewing old friendships and making new ones - the biggest surprise I have found was that the majority of attendees at the reunions are those who might be considered "middle Americans" - not the big deal football/baseball stars or cheerleaders, but the ordinary Joe/Jane students who have succeeded in following the American dream...some more successfully than others, but still we were then, and remain, the heart and soul of America.

Guess some of the cynics will look down their noses on this post, but I am truly grateful that I had the benefit of coming of age during the time when love of God and country was a given. And it is refreshing to meet once again every few years with those who have shared my journey!

Hip Hip Hooray for Griffin GA!
Thanks for letting us all know how great it must have been to graduate from a good ol' honest to gosh American high school. It must be like graduating from a meal of fried chicken and mashed potatoes, something no one from up north would ever understand. But now they do! I guess they need to go on more cruises to get your point.
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