Townhall.com, Where Your Opinion Counts
Talk Radio:   Bill Bennett   Mike Gallagher   Dennis Prager   Michael Medved   Hugh Hewitt   
BREAKING NEWS  LeftArrow - Townhall.com : Conservative, Political, Republican   RightArrow - Townhall.com : Conservative, Political, Republican  
Columns, funnies & more in your inbox!
  • Check the boxes and send us your email address to receveive your free newsletter
  • Your daily must-read of conservative columns, cartoons and news. Coulter, Sowell, Krauthammer and more.
  • Townhall.com’s weekly inside scoop on what’s happening behind the scenes in the world of politics. When news breaks, we report.
  • Signup to receive the latest daily Townhall cartoons
Thursday, April 09, 2009
George Will :: Townhall.com Columnist
Hail the Ump
by George Will
Vote on It:
Average Vote:
[+] Text [-]
 
Poll
Was the Copenhagen Global Warming Summit Walk-Out a Win for the U.S.?


WASHINGTON -- In Mark Twain's "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court," a time-traveling American brought baseball to 6th-century England, where arguments with umpires were robust: "The umpire's first decision was usually his last. ... When it was noticed that no umpire ever survived a game, umpiring got to be unpopular." But it remains a necessary, extraordinarily demanding and insufficiently appreciated craft.

Now, however, comes "As They See 'Em: A Fan's Travels in the Land of Umpires" by Bruce Weber of The New York Times. Forests are felled to produce baseball books, about 600 a year, most of them not worth the paper they should never have been printed on. Weber's, however, is a terrific introduction to, among much else, the rule book's Talmudic subtleties, such as:

A great fielding play can cost the fielder's team the game. With less than two out, if a player makes a catch and falls into the stands, every runner moves up a base. So with a runner on third in the bottom of the ninth of a tie game, if a fielder makes a catch but his momentum flips him over the railing into the seats, his team loses.

Also: There is a play on which the umpire must give a manager a choice of two different outcomes on a batted ball. With one out and runners on first and third, the batter swings, his bat ticks the catcher's glove but drives a fly ball that is caught by an outfielder. The runner on third tags and scores, the runner on first stays there. But because the catcher interfered with the batter's swing, the umpire awards the batter first base, moving the runner there to second. Because that nullifies the sacrifice fly, the runner who scored is returned to third. But why should the batting team lose a run because the other team's catcher committed an infraction? So the manager of the team at bat is given a choice -- bases loaded, one out, no run in, or man on first, two out, one run in.

Umpires -- the only people who are on the field during the entire game and the only ones indifferent to the outcome -- were depicted in pre-Civil War drawings wearing top hats and carrying walking sticks. An account of the (supposedly) first game between organized teams -- June 19, 1846, in Hoboken, N.J. -- mentioned the umpire fining a player six cents for swearing.

Umpires still are custodians of decorum: "As the umpire," Weber writes, "you are neither inside the game, as the players are, nor outside it among the fans, but ... the game passes through you, like rainwater through a filter, and ... your job is to influence it for the better, to strain out the impurities."

Baseball is, Weber notes, the only sport that asks an on-field official to demarcate the most important aspect of the field of play -- the strike zone. Although defined in the rule book, its precise dimensions are determined daily by the home plate umpire.

Umpires are islands of exemption from America's obsessive lawyering: As has been said, three strikes and you're out -- the best lawyer can't help you. But because it is the national pastime of a litigious nation, baseball is the only sport in which a nonplayer is allowed onto the field to argue against rulings.

Umpires are used to having their eyesight questioned -- when someone criticized Bruce Froemming's, he said, "The sun is 93 million miles away, and I can see that" -- but their integrity is unquestioned. As Weber notes, players, not umpires, conspired to fix the 1919 World Series; a manager (Pete Rose), not an umpire, was banned from baseball for betting on games. As umpires say, "If they played by the honor system, they wouldn't need us."

Sport -- strenuous exertion structured and restrained by rules -- replicates the challenges of political freedom. Umpires, baseball's judicial branch, embody what any society always needs and what America, in its current financial disarray, craves -- regulated striving that, by preventing ordered competition from descending into chaos, enables excellence to prevail.

"You can't," Weber says, "hide on a baseball field." But a batter who fails two-thirds of the time for 15 years goes to Cooperstown. An umpire can fail once in a high-stakes moment and be remembered for that forever. It is amazing how rarely they fail as they strive not to be noticed in their pursuit of unobtrusive perfection.

Share:
Vote on It:
Average Vote:
 
About The Author
George F. Will is a 1976 Pulitzer Prize winner whose columns are syndicated in more than 400 magazines and newspapers worldwide.
 
TOWNHALL DAILY: Be the first to read George Will's column. Sign up today and receive Townhall.com daily lineup delivered each morning to your inbox.
Sounds like a good book...
... but I'm not so sure America craves excellence or that the judiciary would know it if they saw it.

Funny man!
Will funny! He talk big words about baseball, I don't think he evere seen game. Funny words! Very smart like professor. Compare to judges in govt and all. Analogy!

I no think Will ever seen baseball, only read books by other egg heads. Funny man!

Casey
George,
You really are becoming tedious; reading you makes me miss Bill Buckley that much more.

Casey failed once in a "high-stakes" moment.....

Ponder the homeplate ump
When Ronald Reagan said "get the government off my back" was he channeling a catcher oppressed by an overzealous plate ump? The catcher may get a bad call now and then but when it comes down to it that ump is necessary for the good of the game.

Tedious?
Anyone who thinks George will is tedious is far too serious to be allowed on the Information Highway.

George Will...
...can write a cake recipe and I would read it!And George Will has forgotten more about baseball than people like "Jerxes" ever knew.

PLAY BALL!!!

thanks!
A terrific article and a nice respite from the political stuff. I agree, we need baseball. Thanks, JM

George's annual attempt
to run for office of Commissioner of Baseball. Watch his columns, see if he puts the jinx on his beloved Cubs by praising them too soon.

Goerge Will's columns...
... on baseball are like the scene in a Marx Brothers movie where Harpo stumbles upon a harp. That is, it's all very nice, but a moment when most of us head out for a snack.


You guys are Silly beyond belief
Will's column is great. I have been an umpire on the HS and College levels for 30 years now, and Mr. Will is dead on. And in this country today we have one party, the Democrats, who want to rewrite all the rules to favor them and destroy the fair play and equal opportunity this country was founded on. Much like any team tries to influence everything they can to get a winning edge. Except they don;t follow the rules, they are just trying to blow the whole game up so they can say they won.

But unlike Baseball, we now have the umpires in our system not enforcing the rules of the game, but making up their own as they go along. Their rules are based only on what they think is best at that moment, or gets their team to win.

To make snide comments about this piece by Mr. Will is to show you understand neither Baseball, the country that plays it, or the political system Baseball exists in.

I hope Mr. Will and I meet at a game sometime, it would be great to talk politics and baseball at the same time.


Umpires
Most would make better judges than the ones we have. They play by the rules. The judges make up rules as they go along.

He was out, but he hasn't had a hit in 2 games and his mom is here, so I think i'll call him safe. I want everything to even out in the long run.

Will would be a better Commish than the one we have who is a clown and makes about 17 mill a year.

Not bad for a former car dealer.

John
"To make snide comments about this piece by Mr. Will is to show you understand neither Baseball, the country that plays it, or the political system Baseball exists in."

Or it could mean that we find baseball (no capital B) irrelevent, and "John" a self-important wanker.



I love and respect umpires, but...
in all honesty, the largest part of what the home plate umpire does would be done better by a few cameras and a computer programmed with the strike zone, etc. The computer would never get a ball or strike call wrong and would never enlarge the zone for a star pitcher, which would be good for the game.

Ahhh ! Memories !

Hittin',Spittin',Divin' Grab, Chewin', Big Can Of Corn ,Scratchin',"Yoo Ump,Get In The Game ", Slidin' Under The Tag !





a lesson to be learned
Governments, especially ours, should be like umpires, "they should strive not to be noticed in their pursuit of unobtrusive perfection".

Will
needs a new hairpiece.

Throw the ball, George!
Tommy Lasorda: "What's all this piffle crap?! I'm playin' for a buncha kids in the hospital, and you're makin' me look like a chump!"

Mike Schmidt: "I feel kinda stupid, too!"

George F Will: "I'm afraid that this isn't the forum to debate the merits of the questions..."

Lasorda: "Just tell me, didja ever play baseball?"

George F Will: "If by play, you mean, drink deep the aura of the game-"

Lasorda: "I mean play the game, in the field" (takes a ball out of his pocket) "Here-throw this ball!"

George F Will (barely catches the ball) "I'm afraid my duties as quizmaster compel me to move the game along-"

Sam Donaldson: "Throw the ball, George!"

George F Will: "SHUT UP, SAM!"

Lasorda and Schmidt: "Throw the ball! Throw the ball!"

(Will makes a limpwristed overhand toss that goes about a foot)

Lasorda (chuckles and shakes his head) "Yeah, I thought so!"

from "George F Will's Sports Machine", as originally aired on "Saturday Night Live", April 14, 1990.

The essence of good satire lies in its rooting in truth.

Oh boy!
George Will decided to channel his inner Grandpa Simpson! It sure beats making up information on climate change. Will is so tired of being lambasted for his awful scientific writing skills that he writes an article no one reads!


Great Column
My only disagreement with Mr Will is how he has mellowed with the years. About a decade ago he wrote, "... and as for umpires who talk about "thier strikezone", they should be fired. MLB has a strikezone, not the umpires".

Anyone who has watched the game over the decades, cannot but pick up that the umpires have a very creative strikezone; one that usually favors the hitters. Just look at how the ERAs have soared through the last 10 years. And it isn't just because of steriods and the smaller ball parks.

In any event, the umps do a thankless job. If only the Commisioner would ensure some kind of standardization in the way the umps call balls and strikes.

Flies-on-the-ball
"...It is amazing how rarely they fail as they strive not to be noticed in their pursuit of unobtrusive perfection."

I almost agree--but not quite, from what I have witnessed in the past few years with the younger crew of umps on the field. I grew up baseball--been following since I was 9. I also know what they would put prospective umpires through to get an assignment--an exacting screening process. I have a keen remembering of umpires that would usually walk away rather than lower themselves to argue nose-to-nose with a batter/manager. (okay, there was the Billy Martin show, but besides that) Today, I have witnessed umpires deliberately provoke players from behind the plate or on the basepaths. (case in point, Milton Bradley's last game as a Padre) I no longer see some of them as trying to be above the game, outside the game, or even the proverbial fly-on-the-ball.

MUCH A DO-DO ABOUT NUTHIN
Baseball. The great Central American pastime. I could care less about professional baseball, let alone the umpires. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.


baseball
Now, to understand my perspective you must know up front that I am from St. Louis. In St. Louis, baseball is not a sport, it's a religion.

To desparage baseball should be considered a crime that would draw the same sentence as the "man without a country" did -- banished to a tramp steamer to endlessly sail the globe never to return to the U.S.

Or they should be traded to some soccer-loving nation, perferrably Latin America, for a rookie and an undisclosed amount of cash.

And the idea to replace umpires with perfectly accurate machines borders on madness. After all, if you can't blame a faulty strike zone, Cubs fans would have to actually face the fact that they are indeed cursed.

Mr. Will, although a baseball.......
fan myself, I cannot agree that umpires are an analogy to judges. In real life, one judge's decision, or a Supreme Court decision, affects the lives of millions of people for many years to come.

About the game of baseball......baseball is just like life. Each team plays 162 games, and its first string players play nearly all of them.....just like the grind of everyday life. Of 162 games, if a team wins 63% of them, they will probably get into the playoffs. When an umpire erroneously calls a strike when it should have really been a ball call, it's like having your boss not recognize your productivity, ingenuity, etc......a real downer. When even the best hitter only gets it right 3-4 times out of 10, that's about how often the best of us make the absolutely right decisions. And for conservatives, who love facts, the amount of baseball stats that are kept about any situation possible, it can't get any better.
And in every game, there is at least one situation that is unique or hasn't happened in 50 years.

Baseball is like life.....good days and bad days. You win some, you lose some. You keep pressing on, and one or two players will pick up the team for awhile. Then, for some odd reason, the whole team produces. If only to see the great defensive plays, it's worth watching baseball.

When it's not baseball season, it's "the void." When baseball season starts, God is in Heaven again. And, thank You, God, for baseball.

Baseball Books
I highly recommend Mr. Will's excellent baseball book, "Men At Work."

Thanks for the article, Mr. Will.

Tom
Indiana

sdf: ("Oh boy!")
You are a jackass. This was a nice culture article.

Furthermore, Mr. Will does not "make up information on climate change." Back up your claim with an example, liar.

Say a prayer
ANAHEIM, Calif. -- Los Angeles Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart and two others were killed by a suspected drunk driver Thursday, a shocking end to the life of a rookie who had overcome major elbow surgery to realize his big league dreams.

The accident in neighboring Fullerton occurred hours after the 22-year-old pitcher made his season debut with his father in the stands, throwing six scoreless innings against the Oakland Athletics. The Angels ultimately lost the game, 6-4.

The team postponed Thursday night's game with Oakland, the final one of their season-opening series.

"It is a tragedy that will never be forgotten," manager Mike Scioscia said at an Angel Stadium news conference.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=4055343

No RW it just shows you are an idiot
You know neither grammar nor common sense, Troll.
Sign Up to Post Your CommentsSign Up to Post Your Comments
If you are already registered, click here to login. Otherwise, please take a few seconds to register with Townhall.com. Once you sign up, you’ll be able to post your comments immediately, use the action center, get podcasts, and more!
Note: Fields marked with a red asterisk (*) are required.
Salutation:
First Name:
*
Last Name:
*
Email:
*
Nickname:
*
Note: Nick name will be shown when you post comments.
Address 1:
*
Address 2:
City:
*
State:
*
Zip:
*
Phone:
      
Your daily must-read of conservative columns, cartoons and news. Coulter, Sowell, Krauthammer and more.
(Bi-Weekly) We highlight the best opportunities from our partners for surveys, action items and more.