I’ve always been so proud of The Record. In many ways, I’m more known for The Steak than I am for my 8-year mediocre pitching career or my radio show in Los Angeles.

But, until yesterday, no one had ever eaten The Steak faster than I had.

I got the message from Bobby Lee, owner of the Big Texan, when I got home from my show last night. He said, “I hate to tell you this, the guy that beat Kobayashi’s hot dog eating record last year at Nathan’s has just beaten your record. I saw him do it myself. He did it in 8:52!”

So, naturally, I hopped online and found that I had lost to Joey “Jaws” Chestnut, currently ranked #1 by the International Federation of Competitive Eating. He holds gobs of records, is just 24 years old, and is simply the best competitive eater in the world, who likely will go on to break every record there is.

You know, these professionals are taking all the fun out of gluttony.

Congratulations, Jaws. I can’t wait to watch the YouTube video of you doing it!