The economic times we are living in are rougher and scarier than Rosie just before getting bikini waxed. With our national cash crisis comes a bazillion other ancillary spiritual and physical spin-off problems. As a columnist, talk show host and minister I’m now getting my inbox inundated with emails asking me how to spiritually field this mucked up mess we’re mired in (that’s how bad it is . . . people are asking me for advice).

What follows is my attempt to Dr. Phil you folks thru this crap-laden crunch we’re currently getting crushed by with seven hard learned lessons about God and life from the last 25 years of getting my butt kicked.

*Note to rabid atheists: This column (to become a book under the same title) is written to the heaven bound Christian who is currently going through hell. Yeah . . . it’s not for you. You might want to read Thus Spake Zarathustra or something for encouragement.

Here are seven observations and exhortations to help us keep plowing through tough times.

1. Jesus Promised Pain.

Jesus said in His first YouTube lecture, the Sermon on the Mount, that “storms” are coming to everyone, Christian or not. Note: Jesus didn’t say if storms come, but when they come. I know it sucks, but that’s reality. At least He gives us a heads up, eh? Also, Jesus didn’t forewarn us of tame storms on the horizon but “squalls” so violent that if you aren’t well founded on His word that your house could be destroyed. How we have built our lives is revealed in the storm.

2. Are You Gonna Cowboy Up or Lay There and Bleed?

Modern evangelicals by and large are an emasculated group of Nancies who make mountains out of molehills. We aren’t like our scriptural forefathers who were hardy and rowdy, tough followers of a rugged God. We are wussies pastored by wussies who grumble and complain when something pinches our flesh. This is a problem because demons love warfare, the flesh is incorrigible, and God’s demands are high and holy—and we love Pepsi. To get through hell the first thing the believer has got to do is shut up, suck it up and grow a pair.

3. It’s About Character, Stupid. Continued...