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Saturday, November 18, 2006
Doug Giles :: Townhall.com Columnist
Avoiding the Date from Hell
by Doug Giles
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How does a girl avoid dating or marrying some festering bag of ripe compost like Kevin Federline and his helix-missing ilk? I know Britney Spears is about as sharp as a bag of wet mice; however, even with her low levels of discernment and her Turkish walnut like density, I believe Brit (as well as those below and above her in brilliance) can, with a little guidance, steer relationally clear from any urge to merge with some future K-Fedian bad date.

So . . . how does a girl circumvent the date from hell? It’s pretty simple, ladies. Follow the following principles, and you’ll land you a quality catch. Blow them off, and you’ll attract some Darwinian holdover that’ll drain you emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially more than a hemi-powered robotic milker drains the dairy out of a cow.

Girlfriend, are you ready to leave in the dust some dude who’s not worthy of sharing the air you breathe—much less your time and attention? You are? Well, giddy up. Here’s the master list that will increase your chances of attracting a prince Charming versus drawing some piece of Charmin.

Before you “get” a boyfriend . . .

1. Get a life.

2. Get a grip.

3. Get virtuous.

4. Get someone compatible.

5. Get solid boundaries.

6. Get and keep your own place.

Number One: Get a Life. A lot of ladies date disasters simply because they don’t have squat going on in their own lives and they think that the missing link is regularly French kissing the over-moussed bartender at Chili’s. One way to make certain you do not get wrapped around the axle of the date from hell is to make sure you’re kicking butt in life first—before you try to partner with anyone else. Continued...

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About The Author
Doug Giles’ new book “If You're Going Through Hell, Keep Going!" is now available. Ann Coulter says "Doug Giles is a substantive and funny tour de force for traditional values.” Doug’s talk show and video blog can be seen and heard at www.ClashRadio.com.
 
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Duchess of Austin
Actually, I think that's almost Giles's point--too many women doing things for understandable, but really dumb, reasons. You just said you know from experience that they are, in fact, pretty dumb reasons--being a bride is all well and good, but wanting to dress up and be queen for a day isn't a good reason to enter into matrimony, and it's bound to end badly. Hence, articles saying, "Hey, girls... *BAD* idea. *REALLY* bad."

You guys are too hard on poor Britney.
Britney Spears did nothing that millions of girls her age don't do at some point. She wanted to get MARRIED.

Think about it....she didn't have what anybody here would call a "normal" childhood, she probably missed all those little milestones, i.e., homecoming queen, the senior prom, etc., because she was on a stage somewhere, earning a living at 16 or 17. Heck, she started at 9 years of age, on that old talent show that Ed McMahon hosted, StarSearch...as did her colleague, Christina Aguilara.

The reason I know what Britney did, is because I did it, too. I reached a certain age, as a young woman, and as I looked around me, all my friends were getting married, so I had to also. Soooo, I collared the first man I could find and made him marry me. Turns out he was (of course) the wrong man, but that didn't matter at the time because all I wanted to be was a bride. I didn't necessarily want the marriage....

I think Brit wanted to be a bride, and she wanted to be a mother, and since she's filthy rich, she doesn't have to worry about support. IMO, Fed-EX is nothing but a sperm donor, and she knew that, deep down, the marriage wouldn't work out....
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