But before all the svelte health freaks start to self-congratulate, the medieval view of this vice was not simply constrained to ravenous appetites and bulging hips. That’s way too easy and such a narrow definition; it lets far too many food fanatics off the hook. No, the medieval ones saw five ways in which one could maintain the sin of gluttony without looking like a manatee: by eating and drinking too soon, too expensively, too much, too eagerly and with too much fuss. Ouch, baby, very ouch.

Guinness states that the above “are all symptoms of a philosophy of life that is finally materialistic, and hedonistic, captured in the motto, ‘let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die.’ Thus modern ethicists point out: modern gluttony is not observed only in bulging midriffs, high blood pressures, poisoned livers, bottlenoses and bad breath. It can also be traced in the fanatical modern devotion to dieting, health foods, and drug taking. In a society in which cookbooks outsell the Bible by something like ten to one, food and diets have been given a time and a place that are gluttonous.”

So what is the cure for the obvious glut and for the carb counting, package over-perusing, tofu fussing, soymilk manic?

How’s about getting a vision, sir or ma’am, of being and doing something great? Yeah, that’s it. Why not instead of sitting and gorging yourself or getting wrapped around the axle obsessing over your grub, getting fixated on something noble, something that will cause you to place food in its proper light; namely, as just a tool that is used to fuel greater ventures instead of the end all, be all that you’ve made it to be?

Jesus, Moses, Abraham and a bunch of other believers in the Bible loved life, lived large and ate well without bowing to their belly—and you can, too. They found fulfillment in an eternal mission and not just in their temporal taste buds. They could eat and drink and stay in controooooooooooooooool. And you know what? So can you. Yeah, it’ll be tough but that’s life in all it’s glory, girlfriend.

So, work with me now. Put down that gallon of Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough ice cream and back slowly away from it. Now, put on a fresh change of clothes and go out into the desert to speak to God about giving you some reason for living . . . something great to live and die for. And watch, just watch, what that’ll eventually do for your waistline—and your life!

* ClashRadio.com has been upgraded! We have added several new features to our show such as: Skunk Boy's "Evolution's Holdover", Dr. Full's "You can be a Loser". In addition, Giles has a new :60 spot called "Hey, Monkey Butt", a ten minute "Growth Stimulant" session for personal oomph and he has a excellent interview with Kevin McCullough, author of the book, Musclehead Revolution.