| If you live in the U.S. and you’re a woman or an effeminate guy, then you’ve got to be happier than a hog in fresh mud, because our current culture has been crafted just for you, baby. And y’know, as far as the girls by birth are concerned, I’m glad you’ve been given your due. I’m glad you’re getting empowered. I’m glad you’re getting the cash you deserve and blah, blah, blah. I just have three simple requests: 1. Don’t stop acting like a lady. 2. Don’t expect us to stop acting like guys. 3. Don’t stop shaving your legs. Cool? The “ladies” that I have a particular problem with are the fecal-fuming feminuts who have a Paul Bunyan sized axe to grind against masculinity and who have boldly worked their man hatred into the main stream media, into our universities and within the church. It is these woMEN whom I, along with millions of other “non progressive” traditional guys and girls, find extremely nauseating. Having said that, I must thank the strident and constantly dripping female chauvinist pigs (FCP’s) for their endless yarbling and obvious agenda. “Why,” you might scream in a whiny, nasally, nerve grating pitch, “do I thank you?” Well, my opposition to you is helping me get on more major radio stations across the US. Yes, it seems the masses are getting tired of the non-stop men-hating, PMS lasses. So . . . thanks, female chauvinists (and I mean that), and keep up the destructive work; because the more you talk, the more you alienate people on the right and the left. But what really concerns me is not how the FCP’s might be hamstringing my existence—because they aren’t—but how they are making it difficult for your boy to grow up to be a man who’s not trying to get in touch with his feminine side. Parents, one great way to have Johnny not turn into J.Alexander (or Jay Manuel for that matter) is to take serious stock of the male role models he’s around. Your son is going to imitate someone, so make certain it isn’t Eminem, 50 Cent, Barry Bonds, Johann van der Sloot, Richard Simmons or John Couey. This is not rocket science. But it is a science. It’s simple: if you don’t want your son to be emasculated or macho-stupid, be careful whom you allow him to walk with on his schlep. Monkey see, monkey do. BTW, can some of you girls stop imitating guys? Please? Like . . . now? The other day I saw this Hispanic chick cruising on a Harley. Her gut was hanging over her way-too-low-cut jeans, she had a cigarette dangling from the corner her mouth and she was sporting more tattoos than a Maasai warrior. I had to do a double take because I thought it was my gardener with a wig and some Frederick’s inserts. Yikes! Also, girls, if you want to celebrate your “freedom” from misogynist’s constructs by smoking a cigar, don’t smoke a .62 ring gauge maduro 8” Churchill. Stay somewhere south of .36. I know you’re not supposed to trust men; but trust me—you’ll look better. Now, back to role models for your son. Even I have role models in case I drift to the effete dark side. There are eight in particular who help me keep my testosterone in focus and my boys intact. 1. Larry the Cable Guy. He keeps me tethered to my beloved redneck roots that are under constant attack down here in the oh so sassy South Florida. Git-R-Done, Larry. 2. Dennis Miller. Miller keeps the wise guy alive and well in me, which is a must if you want to mess with the FCP’s and have the attitude necessary to navigate the Sargasso morass the feminuts spew forth. 3. Ted Nugent. Ditto. The Nuge also brings to the table an enviable love for hunting, guns and all that is wild and free. His music, books, concerts and our conversations keep my primitive man in fine shape. 4. Os Guinness. He takes the dumb out of Christendom. Continued... |