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Sunday, November 13, 2005
Doug Giles :: Townhall.com Columnist
French Fried Muslim Madness
by Doug Giles
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Poll
Will the Dems' health care Christmas Present to America be an improvement or detriment to our health care system?


While I’m on the topic of the Islamic insurrectionists, let me give you bad boys a little help in understanding France.  To start with, of course you’re unemployed.  France’s economy is sagging worse than a glue horse’s paunch gut.  Of course the French treat you like crap.  They treat everyone like crap.  I’m wondering why it took you so long to get fed up with it.  When I went to Paris, as a loud Texas redneck, I got snubbed and rebuffed at every turn.  Did I want to smack their beret-wearing butts?  Sure.  Did I?  No.  Remember, the French are the same people who slighted Oprah.  What did you think they were going to do for you?  Therefore, why don’t you just leave gay Paris and go back to a Muslim friendly country and do so without burning your own stuff in the process? 

And finally, for any American Muslims who are a bubble off level and might be thinking about following their European brethren’s lead by instigating a throw down here in the States, I’d walk away from that silly notion.  Unlike President Chi-runt and the French, I think such a bad decision would not fare well on US turf.  We don’t like our neighbors being burned, we don’t like our cops being shot, and I bet we wouldn’t dally two weeks in quelling such chaos. 

One more thing:  Breaking news . . . this just landed in my inbox!

“Bush Okays Assistance to France for Third Time in 100 Years”
May Send Up To 5 Marines to Quell Two Weeks’ Riots
 
President Bush has authorized the Joint Chiefs to begin drawing up a battle plan to pull France's butt out of the fire again.  Facing an apparent overwhelming force of up to 400 ticked off teenagers, Mr. Bush doubts France's ability to hold off the little rebels.
 
"Hell, if the last two world wars are any indication, I would expect France to surrender any day now," said Bush.  Joint Chiefs head, Gen. Peter Pace, warned the President that it might be necessary to send up to 5 Marines to get things under control.  The general admitted that 5 Marines may be overkill, but he wanted to get this thing under control within 24 hours of arriving on the scene.
 
Pace stated he was having a hard time finding even one Marine to help out those ungrateful bastards for a third time, but thought that he could persuade a few women Marines to do the job before they went on maternity leave.
 
President Bush asked Gen. Pace to get our Marines out of there as soon as possible after order was restored.  He also reminded Gen. Pace to make sure the Marines did not take soap, razors or deodorant with them.  The least they stand out, the better.

Logon to www.ClashRadio.com and pick up a copy of Giles' latest DVD, Packed, Stacked and Ready to Whack: A No-Holds Barred Interview with Ted Nugent, filmed before a live audience in Miami, Florida—they make great stocking stuffers.  Also, while there, check out Doug's new interview with La Shawn Barber as they discuss the Christian’s reaction to Harry Potter.

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About The Author
Doug Giles’ new book “If You're Going Through Hell, Keep Going!" is now available. Ann Coulter says "Doug Giles is a substantive and funny tour de force for traditional values.” Doug’s talk show and video blog can be seen and heard at www.ClashRadio.com.
 
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