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Sunday, November 13, 2005
Doug Giles :: Townhall.com Columnist
French Fried Muslim Madness
by Doug Giles
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Fourteen days ago riots broke out in Paris suburbs after two Muslim young men, who were running from the cops, stopped and took refuge against the wrong electric fence and got KFC’d. 

BTW, does anyone know exactly how many virgins Muhammad allots juvenile delinquents who die because of density?  I believe they’re each awarded two cross-eyed, chunky girls with Tourette’s.  If you know precisely what they’re granted, drop me a line at mail@i’minthedarkonthisone.com.

Anyway, somehow other Muslims turned this Johnny Knoxville-like Parisian Jackass skit into a good excuse to tear down their neighborhood.  This, I think, is kinda strange.  Call me weird, but when my friend Lurch “hair-lipped” Limpnicky was being chased by the Muleshoe PD for stealing taters and was subsequently killed after hiding in a running woodchipper, oddly enough, destroying our F150’s never came to mind. 

Here’s something that’s wild:  It took nearly two weeks of Muslim mayhem, i.e., shooting cops, torching thousands of Renualts, fire-bombing buildings, with the violence spreading to over 300 different cities, before BB-testicle French President Jacque Chi-croc finally decided to play hard ball by instituting a curfew for the hooligans. 

Oooh!  Ah!  Scary. 

I bet the thousands or Molotov tossing Muslims are petrified now.  President Chi-coward went on to warn that if the curfew does not work and they’re still acting naughty that he’s going to take away their weekly allowance, not let them watch cartoons or go to the mall—and this time he’s not kidding, Mister.  Yes, be afraid all vandals . . . the French quail is pissed.

Twelve days to respond!  Y’know, if what’s left of my memory serves me correctly, I believe that the French sautéed Bush because he didn’t show up in New Orleans two seconds after Katrina left town.  Also, I sort of remember the Eurosocialist-stroking, anti-American, left-leaning pundits also basted Bush for tarrying seven minutes on 9/11, but there is amazing absence of indignation towards Chi-caca and the two week nap he took. 

Speaking of our ludicrous left news sources, what’s with the PC mental gymnastics they’re playing with the religion and race of the rioters?  Here’s the typical feed coming from liberal thought police central:  “Riots have broken out in Paris suburbs.  This wave of destruction has been at the hand of North African and Middle Eastern descent French youths who have been disenfranchised and unemployed by haughty white French people.” 

Yeah, if you do a little digging, I bet you’d find that, as Mark Steyn wrote, the names of the “French youths” culpable for this anarchy are not Pierre, Patrice, Henri and Claude, but rather Habib, Achmed and Mohamed. And more than likely, since their origins are North Africa and the Middle East, I’m guessing that they’re not Lutheran or Presbyterian, but rather Muslim young men.  But God forbid one should actually say that. Continued...

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About The Author
Doug Giles’ new book “If You're Going Through Hell, Keep Going!" is now available. Ann Coulter says "Doug Giles is a substantive and funny tour de force for traditional values.” Doug’s talk show and video blog can be seen and heard at www.ClashRadio.com.
 
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